COMING SOON: Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes

If there’s one medium that video games have had a lot of difficulty trying to make a successful transition into other than movies, it would easily have to be cartoons. Granted, while the only major difference between them is the fact that good video game cartoons do in fact exist, that doesn’t change the fact that they’ve also spawned a lot of stinkers as well. And when they’re bad… my GOD, are they bad. Therefore, I will soon begin production on an article shining the spotlight on the absolute worst that video game cartoons have to offer. As of now, I can’t exactly say when it’ll come out, but I will say that it’ll be done before the end of summer. If you have any suggestions on what I can put on the list, feel free to list them in the comments section below!

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retr0spective: Junction Point Studios

In the year of 2005, veteran video game designer and developer Warren Spector was fresh off of overseeing projects for the now-defunct video game studio Ion Storm, and was just about ready for something new. After meeting up with a colleague of his by the name of Art Min and gathering up several former employees from Ion Storm, they soon founded a studio named after a cancelled MMO that was being developed by another now-defunct developer that Spector was an employee of called Junction Point Studios.

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During that same year, the studio was quickly approached by Valve, who provided them with the prospects of making a brand new installment in the Half-Life series. Spector agreed to the deal, and soon development of the game was well underway…that was, until Disney Interactive came into the picture.

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In 2007, not long after buying back the rights to Walt’s original cartoon star Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Disney started searching far and wide throughout the industry to for who they thought would be the perfect developer to help bring an idea of theirs that had been in the pipeline since 2003 by the name of Epic Mickey to life. After meeting up with several developers, they eventually ended up approaching Junction Point. Surprisingly, they agreed to the deal, and soon they were bought out by Disney – a circumstance that unfortunately did not benefit Valve positively in any way, as they were forced to cancel the Half-Life game.

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As stated in the paragraph above, Epic Mickey was an idea of Disney Interactive’s that had been in the pipeline for years, and was finally put into the development phase after JP was brought on board. The game aimed to re-invent Mickey Mouse in terms of both design and personality, as he would take on a much more “1930’s” look, and would also lack his familiar goody-two-shoes personality, instead having a significantly more mischievous and daring personality akin to his one in his debut short, “Plane Crazy”. The game was also set to be very, VERY dark, having a tone not dissimilar to that of Silent Hill, with a tone that of a post-apocalyptic Disneyland, and was to shine the spotlight on many of the Mouse House’s long-forgotten characters, most notably Oswald himself, who was also originally supposed to be the game’s antagonist.

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Two aspects that stuck throughout the game’s development all the way through were a paint mechanic as well as a morality system. Originally, Mickey was originally supposed to shoot paint from his hands, although this idea was later discarded. Also, the morality system was also supposed to progressively alter Mickey’s design throughout the game depending on what path you took, but this was also discarded. While development of the game had been pretty smooth so far, Spector had came to an all-of-a-sudden conclusion: the game was just too dark and depressing for its’ own good. Resolving to fix this problem, the game’s tone and story underwent a major overhaul; what was originally set to be a grim and gritty action-adventure game was now a dark but still family-friendly platforming adventure, similar to the likes of Rayman 2 or Banjo-Tooie.

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In 2010, the game was finally released (albeit as a Wii-only title) to favorable reviews and decent sales, with the only real major criticism going to the game’s AWFUL camera. While the game hadn’t exactly performed the way they wanted it to, Disney was still satisfied with the game just enough to greenlight a sequel that was released in 2013 by the name of Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Tw0.

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While its’ predecessor wasn’t a HUGE success, it still performed rather modestly. THIS game however, did not. Not only did it receive pretty mediocre reviews, with many of them saying that excluding the edition of co-op, not much was done to build upon the original game’s formula, but it didn’t even come CLOSE to meeting its’ predecessor’s sales. As a result of this, Disney decided to pull the plug on any potential future follow-ups, as well as to shut down Junction Point entirely, leaving several game designers out of a job and Spector quitting Disney entirely.

Although its’ time as a developer was short-lived…okay, VERY short-lived, it can’t be denied that Junction Point really wanted to make a name for themselves as well as to set new heights for Disney games in the same way that Rocksteady set new heights for DC games (heck, prior to its’ closing, Spector himself said that he wanted to do a DuckTales game and a Marvel game). And for that, I can’t help but to give them an A for effort.

What are your thoughts on the Epic Mickey duology? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the comments section below, and thanks for reading!

REVIEW: Kirby’s Dream Land (1992, Game Boy)

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Kirby, a series of video games centering around the adventures of a spherical, red-footed creature who has the ability to swallow his enemies whole and copy their skills and use them to his advantage, is one of Nintendo’s most profitable and well-known franchises (as well as being my personal favorite Nintendo franchise). Although not quite on the level as Mario or Zelda, the little pink puffball has gone on to star in various other forms of entertainment, such as manga and Saturday morning cartoons. And today, we’re going to take a look at where it all started, with the 1992 action-platformer Kirby’s Dream Land.

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The game takes place in the titular Dream Land, a fantastical world packed to the brim with all kinds of weird and wacky thingamajigs, as the greedy eagle/penguin-thing King Dedede, has stolen all of the food of its’ inhabitants for his midnight feast, therefore  being Kirby’s job to make his way throughout several treacherous worlds in order to face Dedede and get all of the food back before the feast. Does Kirby’s debut still hold up after all these years, or is this one dream that you’ll want to wake up from as soon as possible? Let’s find out, shall we?

THE LOOKS – As some of you might recall in my review of Wario Land, I said that the Game Boy wasn’t exactly the most visually advanced gaming system at the time, and that because of that, many of the games that were on it didn’t look as good as they could’ve been. However, these sentiments have most certainly changed drastically, and now I can truly see how much it did with such little graphical power. Starting off with the look of the game itself, although it doesn’t have any color, you can still see how much creativity went into designing the environments and characters. In fact, I’d argue that this is one of THE most creative-looking games of the period that it was released! The character sprites and backgrounds, while simplistic, are just OOZING with pure imagination, such as the serene and cloudy Green Greens and the tall and sprawling Castle Lololo. It’s not perfect, of course – there are some areas in which the graphics feel a bit too simplistic, even for a Game Boy game, but it’s not too much of a problem, depending on the point of view of the player.

THE SOUND – One thing that the Kirby series gets praised for time and time again, it would most certainly be its’ music. And BOY, does it deserve it. If there was ever an award for “Best Soundtrack To An 8-Bit Handheld Game”, this would easily be a contender. Going along perfectly with the game’s lighthearted, jolly feel, the music decides to be just that as well, being lighthearted and jolly all the way through. But not only is it that, it does it WITHOUT being annoying or insulting! In fact, this might be one of the best soundtracks to an 8-bit game that I’ve EVER heard, being catchy as all heck and having a real “feel-good” tone to it. Although this might not be in my Top 10 video game soundtracks, it’s easily in the Top 20 or 30.

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Someone’s barked up the wrong tree…

THE GAMEPLAY – All yes, all of the classic gameplay elements that make the Kirby series as instantly recognizable as it is! Floating, swallowing, spitting, inhaling, the ability to copy the ability of your enemies…the last of which hasn’t been implemented yet. Yeah, initially Kirby could inhale or swallow his enemies, but he couldn’t copy their abilities. This is what many people refer to as “Early Installment Weirdness”, in which the world of a work of fiction hasn’t truly been defined or fully realized, and thus can come off as a bit off-putting to those who are more familiar with the more recent iterations. Not that this makes the gameplay bad, though – FAAAAR from it. Starting off with the level design, although it’s mostly linear, there are some parts in which there are plenty of secret areas and items to be found, which helps to not make it monotonous. As for the gameplay itself, it’s very enjoyable. Kirby controls very smoothly, and his ability to inhale and swallow his enemies really helps to make this game stand out from all other platformers released at the time. There’s also boss fights at the end of each and every stage, all of which being challenging as they are fun. As for power-ups, you can regain lost health by eating tomatoes, gain extra lives by gathering up enough points, and can turn invincible by eating a lollipop. Also, although Kirby can’t copy the ability of his enemies yet, that doesn’t mean he can’t gain abilities at all. By eating Mint Leaves and Superspicy Curry, you can go up in the air and use Kirby’s Air Gun attack and spit fireballs at enemies, albeit not for very long. However, if there’s long glaring flaw that I’d like to point out, it’d have to be the ability that you can skip entire stages by using Kirby’s float. Of course, this is optional, but it just makes everything feel too easy if used. But even overlooking this, the gameplay still manages to set new heights for handheld platformers.

THE BOTTOM LINE – Kirby’s Dream Land might not be the best Game Boy game or the best Kirby game, but it’s still a fun and entertaining little platformer after all these years. If you’re a Kirby fan or if you’re just seeking a good handheld game to kill time, I would definitely recommend this.

THE RETR0PIA RATING – 8/10

Why Sony Pictures Is A Joke

(WARNING: HARSH CRITIQUE OF A FILM CORPORATION AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.)

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As some of you might recall in my review of The Angry Birds Movie (which can be read here), I called the international distributors of the film, Sony Pictures, “the laughingstock of the film industry”. While I do know that not everyone will share my sentiments , I still personally believe that they are the absolute worst film distributors currently in business, and today I’m going to list off all of the reasons why I believe that is so. Get ready for what might be my most negative article yet, as we take a look at Why Sony Pictures Is A Joke (at least in my opinion).

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While a hefty reliance on one actor to sell your movie is nothing new, Sony somehow manges to have the absolute worst out of all of them. I’m dead serious: just look at both of the Grown Ups films, Both of the Paul Blart films, That’s My Boy, and Jack and Jill. What do all of these films have in common? They were all made by the same production company (Happy Madison Productions), were all comedies, all had Adam Sandler attached or involved in them, and were all distributed by Sony. Now, I’m not trying to diss Sandler when I say this, but really Sony? You can’t just solely rely on ONE PERSON to pump out all your comedies for you. Heck, I’m pretty sure that at least 80% of Sony’s comedies have Adam Sandler involved in them in one way or another. And yes, I do know that there’s the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot (which, judging by everything that we’ve seen so far, will most likely be terrible) and…Sausage Party, but my point still stands. Oh, and you wanna know what quite a handful of these films also have in common? THEY WERE ALL BOX-OFFICE FLOPS. With that in mind, you’d think that Sony would at the very least decide to take it easy on Sandler. But if that ever happened, we wouldn’t have gotten that disaster of a film called Pixels last year, wouldn’t we?

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As if their disregard for originality and variety wasn’t enough, they also seem to have a staggering lack of respect for their employees, most specifically the folks at Sony Pictures Animation. Last year, they had major creative differences with Genndy Tartakovsky and Lauren Faust (two well-known Cartoon Network employees) over a CGI Popeye film and a film based off of the mythical Greek monster Medusa respectively, which ultimately resulted in them leaving both of the projects, leaving Tartakovsky mostly regulated to making Hotel Transylvania sequels (though to be fair, the HT movies themselves are actually quite good) and Faust quitting Sony entirely. And to further rub salt on the wound, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (the directors of the first Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs film, 21 Jump Street, and The Lego Movie) themselves have opened up about their experiences while working at Sony, discussing in detail how they desperately tried to convince them into becoming SPA’s “brain trust” of sorts, and ultimately ended it by stating that “it is a place where artists are treated like paper, and it’s too hard to do great work there”. Now that, my friends, is what you call a sick burn.

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But by far, the absolute WORST thing about Sony Pictures would have to be their increasingly incomprehensible, poor, and downright idiotic decisions. All of the money that could’ve went to making a proper third Ghostbusters film, Popeye, and others? Wasted on drivel like the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot, that freaking Emoji movie, Happy Madison films, and a movie which script is mostly comprised of food engaging in “adult” antics and spouting out the F-word every 3 sentences. The many interesting ways that they could’ve took the Spider-Man films after Sam Raimi’s departure? All neglected for a dull, thinly-written cheap romantic-drama sci-fi cash grab with ZERO of the character’s charm or essence. All of the possible CEOs they could’ve chosen to help move them forward after the catastrophic hack? Thrown aside for the same guy that thought that it would be a brilliant idea to make Deadpool’s mouth sewn shut.   In conclusion, it won’t be that many years until Sony Pictures bites the dust. And in a world where its’ parent corporation is responsible for one of the most successful video game system line-ups of all time…that is pretty shocking.

Are your thoughts on Sony Pictures as unflattering as mines? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below, and thanks for reading!

Mighty No. 9 Isn’t So Mighty

In an age where mainstream Triple-A publishers have become increasingly difficult to work and cooperate with, the act of seeking crowd-funding for developing games has become a regular occurrence. Some have succeeded tremendously, while others…well, they gave it their all, I guess? However, if there’s one project that will go down in infamy as a shining example of how NOT to use crowdfunding, it would most certainly be the topic of today’s article, Mighty No. 9.

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Ah yes, the game that was once regarded as the Mega Man series’ return to form, only that the twist was there were no Mega Man characters. Initially met with hype that went off the charts, the game soon underwent a string of issues, delays, and all sorts of drama that ended up hampering the production. As of this writing, the game has finally been released with surprisingly little fanfare (other than what is quite possibly THE WORST VIDEO GAME TRAILER OF ALL TIME) and even less enthusiasm, with sites such as IGN and GamesRadar writing it off as a soulless, mediocre-at-best imitation of the blue bomber’s NES adventures.

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Mighty No. 9: Proudly sponsored by Domino’s Pizza!

Being in charge of something that turned out so unsatisfying, you would think that Keiji Inafune would AT LEAST offer some sort of apology. Alas, that would be giving him too much credit. When being confronted about his feelings towards the game’s reception, he claimed that the folks at Comcept “put everything into making this game”, although all other evidence points to the contrary. In the end, he capped it off with a surprisingly ignorant usage of the “better than nothing” statement, which resulted in him and the game receiving even MORE backlash, including a jab from – wait for this – THE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG TWITTER ACCOUNT.    Wow. You know you’ve failed hard when even Sega is making fun of you.

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Erm…would a simple “no thanks” be polite enough for you?

While I’m not that into the Mega Man franchise (For the most part. There are quite a few games in it that I would consider great.), I can kind of sympathize with what its’ fandom is currently going through. As if Capcom’s ongoing sitting on of the blue bomber wasn’t bad enough, next year he’ll be in for the dreaded “Sonic Boom/Ghostly Adventures” treatment,  and there’s also a good chance that he’ll be receiving a feature film by the same corporation that thought the Fantastic Four should be angsty, actual personality-deprived teenagers.  All in all, it’s looking to be a bleak period for this franchise, and it probably won’t be long until it’s thrown and locked away in the same abandoned warehouse where other forgotten and discarded mascot would-bes that spawned from the popularity of it such as Blinx the Time Sweeper and Gex the Gecko reside. Now that is what you call irony.

*I did not make this parody. It was done by Cliqist’s YouTube channel.*

Do you think the Mega Man franchise has any hope of redemption, or is it simply beyond, for a lack of a better term, repair? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below, and thanks for reading!

retr0spective: Naughty Dog (Part Four) *FINAL PART*

After the completion and release of Jak 3 (though not very long after Rubin and Gavin’s departure), ND immediately gathered up its’ staff to begin the pre-development phase on their next big project, which was then known at the time as…well, “Big”. While the Jak series still had a somewhat cartoony look to it (even in the follow-ups), ND wanted to take the realism even further, opting to go for a much more photo-realistic route and to push the boundaries beyond any of their previous games’ visuals. Wanting to create something that was “fresh and interesting” and unlike anything they had ever done before, they drew inspiration from a plethora of pre-existing material, such as classical adventure serials, pulp magazines, National Treasure, Indiana Jones, and shockingly NOT Tomb Raider.

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During development of the game, ND had went through, as one of their lead designers said, a “really dark period”. In addition to the fact that they had their first ever cancelled game on their hands AND the fact that their founders had left them behind, many of their employees were growing dissatisfied with the direction the new game was taking, and one by one many of them were jumping ship, proclaiming that the game would “never be finished” and that ND had “bitten off more than they could chew”. To solve this problem, they decided to split up the company (or for a better term, what was left) into a total of two teams: the first one being the ones who “wanted to make it work” and the others being “the ones who wanted to make it awesome”. Regardless, ND pushed on, and it wasn’t long until the game was ready for release AND was given its’ official name: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune.

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The game’s story revolves around Nathan Drake, a sarcastic adrenaline junkie and apparent descendant of Sir Francis Drake, as he embarks on an epic journey to discover the mythical lost city of El Dorado as well as the treasure located deep within it. Along the way, he’s aided by his father figure and mentor, Sully, as well as a journalist by the name of Elena Fisher.

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When the game was unleashed onto store shelves in Thanksgiving of 2007, it was met with unanimously positive reception, with many of its’ praise going to its’ near-lifelike art style, lovable characters, great writing, well-thought out platforming, and exhilarating action sequences. The game was also a major commercial success, selling a total of 2.6 million copies. In the wake of the game’s success, three sequels and a spin-off for the now pretty much-dead PS Vita were released, with the former receiving just as much praise and success as Fortune did, while the latter just received good, but not “OMG GAME OF THE YEAR”-level reviews, but was still met with commercial success nonetheless.

In 2004, Neil Druckmann, one of ND’s most well-known employees, was attending Carnegie Mellon University. During that year, the university held a contest in which several students were to conceptualize video games of their own. The concepts would then be shown to George A. Friggin’ Romero, who would then choose the concept that he liked best. Druckmann’s concept was something along the lines of “Ico meets Night of the Living Dead”, in which a police officer similar to that of John Hartigan from world-famous comic book artist Frank Miller’s Sin City would have to protect a young girl during a zombie apocalypse. While Druckmann’s idea didn’t end up getting chosen, he still kept it fresh in his mind even after joining Naughty Dog.

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In 2009, shortly after the release of Uncharted 2, ND had decided to put development of the inevitable third game on hold in order to put focus on what was then known as “T1″…or was it “Project Thing”? Whatever they called it backed then, I guess. It was at this point that Druckmann’s concept was finally started to be realized, albeit not quite how he started it. For starters, the main character was no longer a policeman, and the zombies were instead made into horrifically mutated fungus zombies called the Infected. Taking inspiration from Alan Weisman’s The World Without Us and historical deadly epidemics such as the 1918 flu pandemic, the game was set to be a dark and dramatic tale about the desperation of survival, hope, redemption, love, and loyalty. Certainly a far cry from the days of yellow-skinned scientists with giant Ns on their foreheads and orange marsupials that go about spinning into wooden crates and collecting made-up fruit, isn’t it?

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After spending three years in production and an added extra month following a delay, the game was released in 2013 for the Playstation 3 as The Last of Us. 

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The game’s story takes place twenty years after an outbreak of a fungal virus across the USA, as Joel, a bitter middle-aged man, must escort a teenage orphan immune to the virus named Ellie to safety. Along the way, the two end up forming a strong father-daughter-esque bond, and soon end up discovering what could possibly be the key to reserving the outbreak. When the game was released….to say that it received universal acclaim would pretty much be the same as saying…well, ANY obvious statement. I mean…LOOK AT THESE SCORES!! SIX OF THEM ARE PERFECT!!!!  The only one that isn’t giving it massive praise is Polygon, but even then a 7.5 is still considered a decent enough score! In terms of sales, the charts were utterly topped, as the game sold 1.3 million copies about seven days after its’ release. “Impressive” doesn’t even begin to describe that…

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Following the game’s illustrious performance, Sony immediately jumped on ship to turn it into their next hit video game franchise. Although it has yet to get a sequel, the game has received merchandise a plenty, DLC, a comic book, and a film adaptation! The latter of which will probably never happen…but still, with all of the attention that the game has gotten, it’s a sure-fire bet that we’ll be getting a follow-up sooner or later.

Naughty Dog is often considered by many to be one of the greatest video game studios of all-time, and it’s not easy to see why. Through all of the troubles and events that they’ve gone through, their stupendous efforts and contributions to the gaming industry are not in vain. They have given us some of the most iconic and beloved video games ever created, as well as being partly responsible for making Sony a force to be reckoned with in the video game market. From their relatable, sympathetic, well-written, and all-around lovable characters, from their well-crafted production and gameplay practices, and the many ways that they’ve took storytelling in video games, for a lack of a better term, to the next level, their tale is quite frankly one of video game legends, and it continues to grow stronger and stronger with each game released. Hats off to you, ND.

* I did not make this video. It was done by fellow YouTuber zapidante.*

What is your favorite Naughty Dog game? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below, and thanks for reading!

REVIEW: Streets of Rage (1991, Genesis)

Ah, the beat ’em up. What can I say about it that countless of other retro game critics haven’t said already? It’s a genre that has not only pushed our button-mashing skills to our very limits, it’s also served as a major pioneer in the gaming industry, giving us several beloved classics such as TMNT: Turtles in Time, Double Dragon, Final Fight, and the topic of today’s review, the 1991 Sega Genesis title, Streets of Rage.

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The game’s story revolves around three former police officers, who resolve to fight back and save their city from a hostile takeover at the hands of a ruthless crime syndicate run by the nefarious and shady Mr. X. Can this game live up to the massive praise it has received after all these years, or is the “Rage” in the title referring to what I’ll be feeling afterwards? Let’s find out, shall we?

THE LOOKS – As 1991 was the year that the Genesis finally figured out the type of console that it truly wanted to be, it was also the year that many of the games that were being released for it really began to go all out in the visual department. This is most certainly one of those games. In stark contrast to the last game we took a look at, the graphics are a lot less cartoonish, opting for a much more realistic (well, as realistic as a Genesis game can get anyways) visual presentation in terms of locations and character sprites. The looks of the backgrounds themselves are great, showing off all kinds of detail and variety, as well as a use of colors that have a heavy reliance on colors such as black, blue, and grey, but end up working in the game’s favor. The character sprites and animations on the other hand, are really not anything to write home about. While they aren’t necessarily bad per say, they do come off as looking a tad bit unprofessional, especially when they’re compared to the ones from the later entries in the series.

THE SOUND – If there’s one thing that nearly all beat ’em ups have in common, it would most certainly have to be great music, this game in particular being among them. As a whole, the music has a generally “tough” feel to it, going along with the game’s gritty tone, which is definitely a good thing. The music itself is simply stupendous, with each track going along perfectly with each stage and just generally being catchy as all heck. There are also an array of digitized voice clips and sound effects to be heard, and while some might find them a bit grating on the ears, others probably won’t mind them.

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Oh, Sega. You always know how to get crap past the radar.

THE GAMEPLAY – As with most beat ’em ups, you have a certain number of characters at your disposal, which in this game’s case is three. There’s Axel, the blonde blue headband-wearing martial artist, Adam, a skilled African-American boxer, and finally, there’s Blaze, the-

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No, not the cat! The OTHER one! You know, the character on the box art with the red headband and jacket who has a vague resemblance to Elektra from Daredevil?

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Thank you. Anyways, Blaze, like Axel, is no stranger to Japanese combat, as she is an expert in Judo. Once again, like most beat ’em ups, each character has their own certain advantage and disadvantage. Axel’s jumping skills aren’t quite up to par, but he makes up for that with his strength. Adam’s jumping skills are better than Axel’s, and he is equally as strong as him, but his speed’s a bit slow. And last but not least, Blaze isn’t quite as strong as Adam or Axel, but she’s great at jumping and is also faster than the both of them. The game itself plays out like your standard beat ’em up; you go either left or right throughout a stage, knocking the snot out of almost everybody you encounter, until you run into a boss, rinse and repeat. However, what really matters isn’t the concept, but how it’s executed. And how is this game executed? Well…it’s really kind of a “meh”, to be honest. Starting off with the controls, they’re not really all that great. They feel stiff and wonky (Especially the jumping. Seriously, I will never understand that “crouch before you jump” nonsense), and they are definetely not helped by the combat. The combat as a whole isn’t really all that bad; in fact, it can be quite enjoyable at times, especially when you pick up items like a pipe and a baseball bat lying throughout the levels. But my main beef with it ties into the fact that this game is SO. SLOW. PACED. Seriously, I don’t buy the fact that Adam’s supposed to be the slowest character out of the three, because if you ask me, they’re all about as slow as molasses! And when you take into account just how much faster and stronger some enemies can be than you, AND the fact that the game throws dozens upon dozens at them at the characters, it’s not only frustrating, it can even be a bit boring at times! However, you CAN summon a police car which will then fire a freaking rocket launcher at your location, thus clearing out the screen. Although it can only be used once per level, it is pretty useful at times. So…good on ya SOR, I guess.

THE BOTTOM LINE – Streets of Rage is by no means an awful game, but it’s still not a very good one either. The controls are bad, the combat can be entertaining but can get extremely tedious at times, and the slow pacing really makes it feel like it’s just dragging on. Of course, I won’t try and hide the fact that this game does have a giant cult following among beat ’em up fans everywhere, and I can see why so many people like it. If you’re a hardcore fan of beat ’em ups, have a blast. Otherwise, I’d recommend the FAAAAR superior sequels.

THE RETR0PIA RATING – 6/10