(WARNING: HARSH CRITIQUE OF A FILM CORPORATION AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.)
As some of you might recall in my review of The Angry Birds Movie (which can be read here), I called the international distributors of the film, Sony Pictures, “the laughingstock of the film industry”. While I do know that not everyone will share my sentiments , I still personally believe that they are the absolute worst film distributors currently in business, and today I’m going to list off all of the reasons why I believe that is so. Get ready for what might be my most negative article yet, as we take a look at Why Sony Pictures Is A Joke (at least in my opinion).
While a hefty reliance on one actor to sell your movie is nothing new, Sony somehow manges to have the absolute worst out of all of them. I’m dead serious: just look at both of the Grown Ups films, Both of the Paul Blart films, That’s My Boy, and Jack and Jill. What do all of these films have in common? They were all made by the same production company (Happy Madison Productions), were all comedies, all had Adam Sandler attached or involved in them, and were all distributed by Sony. Now, I’m not trying to diss Sandler when I say this, but really Sony? You can’t just solely rely on ONE PERSON to pump out all your comedies for you. Heck, I’m pretty sure that at least 80% of Sony’s comedies have Adam Sandler involved in them in one way or another. And yes, I do know that there’s the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot (which, judging by everything that we’ve seen so far, will most likely be terrible) and…Sausage Party, but my point still stands. Oh, and you wanna know what quite a handful of these films also have in common? THEY WERE ALL BOX-OFFICE FLOPS. With that in mind, you’d think that Sony would at the very least decide to take it easy on Sandler. But if that ever happened, we wouldn’t have gotten that disaster of a film called Pixels last year, wouldn’t we?
As if their disregard for originality and variety wasn’t enough, they also seem to have a staggering lack of respect for their employees, most specifically the folks at Sony Pictures Animation. Last year, they had major creative differences with Genndy Tartakovsky and Lauren Faust (two well-known Cartoon Network employees) over a CGI Popeye film and a film based off of the mythical Greek monster Medusa respectively, which ultimately resulted in them leaving both of the projects, leaving Tartakovsky mostly regulated to making Hotel Transylvania sequels (though to be fair, the HT movies themselves are actually quite good) and Faust quitting Sony entirely. And to further rub salt on the wound, Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (the directors of the first Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs film, 21 Jump Street, and The Lego Movie) themselves have opened up about their experiences while working at Sony, discussing in detail how they desperately tried to convince them into becoming SPA’s “brain trust” of sorts, and ultimately ended it by stating that “it is a place where artists are treated like paper, and it’s too hard to do great work there”. Now that, my friends, is what you call a sick burn.
But by far, the absolute WORST thing about Sony Pictures would have to be their increasingly incomprehensible, poor, and downright idiotic decisions. All of the money that could’ve went to making a proper third Ghostbusters film, Popeye, and others? Wasted on drivel like the upcoming Ghostbusters reboot, that freaking Emoji movie, Happy Madison films, and a movie which script is mostly comprised of food engaging in “adult” antics and spouting out the F-word every 3 sentences. The many interesting ways that they could’ve took the Spider-Man films after Sam Raimi’s departure? All neglected for a dull, thinly-written cheap romantic-drama sci-fi cash grab with ZERO of the character’s charm or essence. All of the possible CEOs they could’ve chosen to help move them forward after the catastrophic hack? Thrown aside for the same guy that thought that it would be a brilliant idea to make Deadpool’s mouth sewn shut. In conclusion, it won’t be that many years until Sony Pictures bites the dust. And in a world where its’ parent corporation is responsible for one of the most successful video game system line-ups of all time…that is pretty shocking.
Are your thoughts on Sony Pictures as unflattering as mines? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below, and thanks for reading!