COMING SOON: Top 10 Best Retro Game Sequels/Spin-Offs

When something becomes wildly popular, it’s only a matter of time before the creators or owners of the aforementioned thing start getting dollar bills for eyes. This is nothing new, though – in fact, it’s been going on for decades upon end, with practically everyone in the entertainment industry jumping to the call to make the next big franchise, and the world of video games is without question no stranger to this practice. In a few weeks, I will be starting production on a two-part list highlighting some of the greatest sequels and spin-offs to ever be released during the Classic Age of Gaming. As for a release date, I’m not quite sure on that just yet, but I hope to get it out by at least the end of fall. Thanks for reading as always, and be sure to stay tuned!

Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes (No. 10-1)

This is it, folks. Just ten more episodes, and this whole nightmare will FINALLY be done and over with. So, let’s not bother wasting any time.

NO. 10: Happy Birthday, Mega Man (Captain N)

Captain N was a show that admittedly had a lot going for it. The idea of several of the NES’ most popular games at the time coming together in an action-adventure cartoon along the lines of Who Framed Roger Rabbit was one that drew a lot of people in, and in the end it actually ended up becoming a fairly popular and well-received series. Looking back on it now, though…yeah, it’s total garbage. That shouldn’t be surprising though, considering that it is made by DiC. The main problem with this episode (besides the fact that the NES characters look NOTHING like themselves) is that it’s just…well, boring. Aside from Mega Man (who sounds like Popeye if he had a severe case of throat cancer) wanting to be human and the heroes going on some sort of lame quest, there really isn’t much of an actual plot to be found. Oh, and for an added bonus, Roll makes her first (and only) appearance in this series as “Mega Girl”, once again proving that DiC couldn’t bother to research information about the games they make cartoons about even if there was a gigantic book right on top of their desks. Happy Birthday, Mega Man: At this point, I’m anything but “Happy”.

NO. 9: Kombat Begins Again (Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm)

Mortal Kombat was, without question, one of the most mature game franchises of the 90’s. It had a significantly non-kid-friendly cast of characters, themes such as corruption and revenge, and was packed to the brim with all kinds of brutal, bloody violence. So, with that in mind, WHO THE HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A CHILDREN’S CARTOON BASED OFF OF IT? But believe it or not, the idea by itself is the least of this thing’s problems! For starters, the character designs just look…off. It’s obvious that they were trying to invoke a Bruce Timm-esque style, but there’s something about that just doesn’t seem appropriate for a Mortal Kombat show. Next, the writing. You know how I said that Battletoads was nothing but lame jokes and catchphrases? Well, that’s exactly what this is, but somehow even worse. Lastly, the fight scenes. I don’t know if I can even call refer to them as such, because they’re so slow and so dumbed down to the point where I’m not sure if what I’m watching is an actual Mortal Kombat show! Kombat Begins Again: Forget Annihilation, THIS is the worst thing to have the Mortal Kombat brand’s name on it!

NO. 8: Oh Brother (The Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3)

Like Sonic, Mario does not have what one would call a good track record with cartoons. Unlike Sonic however, Mario’s cartoons were so bad that they only made three before they decided to call it quits, and after watching this piece of crap, it’s not hard to see why. The main problem with this episode is that it’s just so dang predictable. Be honest, how many times have you’ve seen an episode of ANY show where the protagonists have a scuffle over some random circumstance only to make up at the end? I’d also like to point out that throughout the episode, various sound effects from the games themselves can be heard, which is kind of cool at first, but after a while just becomes irritating. At the very least, the voice actors do their best with what they’re given (Walker Boone and Tony Rosato are definitely no Charles Martinet or even a Lou Albano and Danny Wells, but they do get the job done) and even deliver some fairly amusing performances (I actually wish that Harvey Atkin was the voice for Bowser in the actual games, or Koopa as he’s referred to in the cartoons). Oh Brother: My god, even the titles are starting to reflect my mood.

NO. 7: ALL Of The Ape Escape Shorts

Yes, believe it or not, at one point there was actually a series of animated shorts based off of the now-dormant PlayStation franchise Ape Escape (made by the same production company behind shows such as Adventure Time and Fairly Odd Parents, no less). And to the surprise of no one, they were…pretty awful. Now, I could just list off a single short and be done with it, but when it all boils down, they all suffer from the same problems: The character designs are terrible, each joke fizzles like a bacon strip on a frying pan, the pacing is awkward, and it’s just not very faithful to the games in general. Honestly, I think that this, Dragon Ball Evolution, and others serve as reminders on just how careful we need to be when adapting Japanese material for an American audience. Ape Escape: To watch this would truly drive someone bananas.

NO. 6: Bad Rap (The Super Mario Bros. Super Show)

Have you ever wondered if something could be so desperately “hip with the cool kids” to the point where it just became downright insufferable to watch? Well, wonder no more, because DiC’s got you covered with this stinking heap. For about the entirety of the episode, the characters speak in nothing but rap. Oh, and for some added bonuses, the main setting of the episode is a city called “Rap Land”, Koopa’s referred to as “Rappin’ Koopa”, there’s two walking fat jokes called the “Flab Boys” and there’s a not-so-subtle parody of James Brown called “King James”. Bad Rap: “Bad” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

NO. 5: Three Hedgehogs And A Baby (Sonic Underground)

While Sonic Boom is my least personal favorite out of the Sonic cartoons (And I don’t even think that ANY of them are good to begin with), I can’t help but to admit that Sonic Underground is worse on a technical level, this episode being a major factor into that. The plot revolves around Sonic and his siblings (Who only appear in this show, and for some reason are also voiced by Jaleel White) finding an abandoned infant, whom Manic takes a liking to. However, unbeknownst to them is that the infant is actually a life-like android designed by Robotnik and his two cronies Sleet and Dingo (who also only appear in this show), who intend on using it to track them down. So, what exactly is wrong with this episode? Is it the numerous instances where the characters randomly go off-model? Is it the laughably terrible music sequence? Is it the complete and utter disregard for following any of the games, or even SatAM which this show is supposedly closely related to? Yeah…it’s pretty darn awful. But you know, maybe it’s so awful, it’s kind of amusing. Three Hedgehogs And A Baby: Take it away, Joel.

NO. 4: The Medium Is The Message (Street Fighter)

Even if it is considerably more family-friendly than the likes of Mortal Kombat, the idea of turning Street Fighter into a kids’ cartoon is one that sounds like a recipe for disaster. And lo and behold, it IS a disaster! Once again, the story of the games have been dumbed down into something that barely even resembles the games, except this time it’s a G.I. Joe rip-off! And the characters…dear LORD, don’t even get me started on them. I know that they exactly have any intricate depth in the games, but here they’re just so damn stereotypical! You’ve got Gulie, the strong but moralistic leader, Cammy, the no-nonsense action girl, Ken, the totally radical surfer dude, M. Bison, the hammy-as-hell antagonist, and so forth. Their degradation also shows through the writing, which is packed to the brim with all sorts of campy one-liners and mindless action sequences. At the end of the day, it is technically better than the two live-action films, but that would pretty much be like saying getting ran over by a truck is better than getting ran over by a train. The Medium Is The Message: You know something’s bad when the only thing that people remember about it is literally just this.

NO. 3: The Shadow Falls (Double Dragon)

Many consider Double Dragon to be one of the major pioneers of the beat ’em up genre. As for its’ television adaptation however, most tend to just outright deny its’ existence, and judging by this episode, its’ not hard to see why. It’s just a huge, cluttered mess of a vapid prophecy storyline, bad animation, phoned-in voice acting, characters that were either drastically redesigned to the point where you couldn’t even recognize them or weren’t from the games in the first place, and the most laughably terrible theme song to a cartoon that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Oh, and guess who made it. Just guess.

Seriously, who the hell let these people be in charge of so many video game adaptations? The Shadow Falls: There’s no need to cast a shadow of doubt that this sucks hard.

NO. 2: Out Of The Dark (Darkstalkers)

…okay, making a kids’ cartoon show out of Mortal Kombat was bad enough, but…Darkstalkers? Darkstalkers? A game in which one of the characters is a friggin’ SUCCUBUS?  Pffft, sure, I don’t see what’s wrong with that! In all seriousness though, even as someone who hasn’t touched a single Darkstalkers game before (Though I do intend on trying out one of the games at one point), I can say that this episode is nothing short of horrendous. Once again, the story of the games have been dumbed in order to appeal to a younger demographic, which when you really think about it, is kind of an odd move. I mean, if you want to make a kids’ show, why make one based off of a game which, one again, HAS A SUCCUBUS AS ONE OF ITS’ CHARACTERS? Also, the characters have been more or less stripped of any or everything that made them so interesting and intriguing in the eyes of arcade fighter fanatics, not having as much of a personality as they do simple, one-note traits. Also, for no apparent reason they made an entirely new character called Harry. I…really don’t have anything to say about him, mainly because he’s just so damn uninteresting. Out Of The Dark: It really should have stayed in the dark.

Take AOSTH, and put it on a strict diet of crystal meth and stale energy drinks. Then, take the most obnoxious, noisy, in your face “90’s ‘tude”, and combine it with said show on said diet. The end result would what is, in my opinion, THE NO. 1 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episode EVER MADE…

NO. 1: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Dropped Pilot)

Bubsy was already bad enough as a video game series, but in terms of a conceptual animated television series, it completely SKYROCKETS in terms of awfulness. The characters are irritating. The backgrounds look like Salvador Dali threw up in the back of an alleyway. The running gags are either relentlessly cruel (Poor, poor Arnold…) or aren’t even funny in the first place. The story is all over the place. I could go on for HOURS on just how wretched this thing is! Matter of fact, I’d take Bubsy 3D ANY DAY over this abomination. What Could Possibly Go Wrong: Everything…just….everything…

And that’s all I got for the Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes. Now, if you excuse me…I need a glass of water.

THE END

What is your least favorite video game cartoon? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions below, and thanks for reading! Stay retr0! 

REVIEW: Inspector Gadget (1993, SNES)

(NOTE: NO. 10-1 OF THE WORST VIDEO GAME CARTOON EPS WILL BE UPLOADED SOON. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY, ENJOY THE REVIEW!)

Inspector Gadget, a Saturday Morning cartoon revolving around a bumbling cyborg detective who consistently foils the plans of a terrorist organization called M.A.D. led by the nefarious Dr. Claw (whose face we NEVER see, and no, I’m not counting that one time that he was played by Prince Charming) with the help of his dog Brain and his niece Penny, is one that happens to have a sizable cult following. While I can’t say that it’s a great show, I can still understand why it’s so popular amongst 80’s folk. Granted, all of the shows that followed the original have proven to be pretty bad, and there were two absolutely DREADFUL live-action features, but that doesn’t change the fact that it helped to pave the way for DiC Entertainment, who would later go on to make…

…yeah, let’s not delve into that.

Anyways, given that the show was extremely popular at the time, it was a no-brainer that games were to be made…about a good number of years after the show ended, to be precise. The one that we’ll be looking at today is a 1993 side-scrolling SNES title called…well, Inspector Gadget.

The game’s premise revolves around Gadget traveling throughout the world to save his niece Penny from the clutches of M.A.D., and…that’s about it. But putting the lack of actual story aside, where in the spectrum of licensed titles does this game fall? Let’s find out, shall we?

THE LOOKS – Back in the day, most licensed games based off of cartoons were usually made several years after the show itself ended. Some looked like pure garbage, while others like this one actually looked pretty good. However, there’s still a problem. While the levels and their backgrounds are nice and detailed, they do give off a somewhat generic vibe, consisting of ghostly woods, a desert, and the like. Heck, there’s even a level at the end of kind of rips off Wing Fortress from Sonic 2! I forgot to mention that whenever Gadget takes a hit, he loses his clothes. Surely, no other game has ever done this before. Also, at the climax of the aforementioned stage, we actually get to see what Dr. Claw looks like (though I won’t show it since I want to stay true to the series). Now, even as someone who doesn’t care about the series that much, I do have to say that it kind of goes against everything about Claw’s character. I mean, the fact that we never got to saw his face is what made him as interesting and menacing as he is, so why bother ruining it? Eh, let’s just move on.

THE SOUND – Well, I can definitely say that this is one of the SNES’ weaker soundtracks. Putting aside the fact that Hudson Soft made a Inspector Gadget game without the theme song, a lot of the tracks are rather forgettable and just plain boring. Yes, there are plenty of worse soundtracks out there, but that statement alone cannot remedy a flaw. The sound effects on the other hand are fairly tolerable, despite some annoyances here and there.

THE GAMEPLAY – Wow…I’m not sure if I’ve come across a platformer that’s THIS utterly generic in a good while. First off, Gadget’s controls are… not very good. They’re not terrible, but there are a lot of times in which they feel a bit wonky and frustrating. Also, for some reason, every time before he jumps, Gadget does this brief, but nonetheless distracting crouch. Second, the level design is about as uninspired as uninspired gets. Granted, it doesn’t feel sloppy nor is it hard to navigate, but it plays it so safe to the point where it really drags the game down. Thirdly, the gadgets themselves don’t exactly add anything to the game, though it excessively tries to trick you into thinking that they are. While they are rather useful, they don’t do much to make the game actually stand out from the gazillion other licensed platformers at the time. Lastly, the boss fights are atrocious. They are so basic, so easy, and so lazy to the point that they make Crazy Castle look like Dark Souls. You know, Gadget was always incompetent, so I guess that this game is kind of faithful in a way.

THE BOTTOM LINE – Inspector Gadget is one of the most derivative and mediocre titles to ever grace the 16-bit era. The graphics are nice to look at but don’t offer anything new, the music is a chore to listen to, and the gameplay falls as flat as a pancake. I honestly wouldn’t recommend this game unless you’re a diehard Inspector Gadget or platformer fan.

GO-GO-GADGET RATING – 5/10 

Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes (No. 13-11)

NO. 13: Battletoads (Dropped Pilot)

Believe it or not, DKC wasn’t the only Rare game to suffer a god-awful cartoon adaptation. This one, dating a few years back, centers around the origins of the protagonists of the titular hard-as-nails NES beat ’em up, and looking back on it, I can see why this wasn’t picked up for a full series. Putting aside the TERRIBLE animation, I’m not even sure if I can refer what’s in this thing as actual writing. It’s literally nothing more than lame jokes and catchphrases! I also have to mention the theme song.    Just…why. The game, even with all of its’ problems (which I’ll get into when I review it some day), had a rockin’, catchy theme tune that I’ve yet to get out of my head. The theme in THIS on the other hand? The most obnoxious surfer dude music that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Battletoads: Did you really expect a quality cartoon from the same people that brought you AOSTH?  

NO . 12: Candibalism (Viva Pinata)

And here we have yet another cartoon based off of a Rare game! Good lord, and people think that their acquisition by Microsoft was the worst thing to ever happen to them. Oh, and for an added bonus, it’s made by these guys! As it turns out, their ineptitude wasn’t limited just to anime dubs. Anyways, the plot revolves around Fergy, one of the pinatas from the game, ordering a chocolate rabbit for some kind of dance party that the pinatas are holding. When his cravings ultimately get the better of him, he decides to disguise the rabbit as his “cousin”. However, when he’s caught feasting on the disguised rabbit whom he already introduced to the pinatas, he ends up getting put on trial in a sequence that’s kind of like the Three Stooges short “Disorder in the Court”. However, while The Three Stooges are actually funny, this is just painful. While the animation resembles the game well enough and the voice actors do a surprisingly decent job for the most part, the premise alone makes no sense whatsoever. It doesn’t matter whether or not the rabbit is someone’s “cousin”, if you still intend on eating it, you’ll still be committing “Candibalism” in a way! And then there’s the ending, which I won’t spoil. But just to give you a hint of sorts, let’s just say it pretty much nullifies the moral that this episode was going for. Candibalism: Can we agree that there shouldn’t be another Rare cartoon adaptation again, EVER?

   

NO. 11: Disc Derby Fiasco (Q*Bert)

Okay, I can get behind Sonic having some cartoons. I can get behind Donkey Kong having a cartoon. I could even get behind Rayman having a cartoon. But Q*Bert? Freaking Q*Bert? A game where you literally just jump on cubes and discs and avoid weird enemies? I mean, it’s a fun game and all, but was there REALLY any sort of demand for a cartoon series? Anyways, this show was part of “Saturday Supercade” a variety show produced by Ruby-Spears that followed the exploits of several well-known video game characters at the time, such as Donkey Kong (yes, believe it or not there are TWO DK cartoons, a whopping three if you count the DK Junior one), Frogger, and everyone’s favorite, Kangaroo!   You know…Kangaroo? That one game where you go around dodging apples and punching monkeys?….anyone?

*sigh*

Anyways, this episode revolves around Q*Bert, who’s a teenager in this show and – HOLD ON A SECOND! He’s a teenager!? I’m sorry, but what is the point behind making video game characters teenagers? It didn’t work for Pac-Man, and it sure as hell doesn’t work for Q*Bert judging by this episode! Anyways, the plot revolves around Q*Bert participating in a flying disc race, the prize for winning being tickets to a rock concert. However, when his disc gets stolen by Coily (one of the main enemies from the game who is also a teenager in this), he must get it back before the race starts. The main problem that this episode has is kind of the same as No Parking: there’s not really much of a plot, but rather stuff just happening. Q*Bert’s disc gets stolen, he gets it back, he wins the race, and that’s literally all that there is. There’s also an abundance of new characters which add to the overall bland demeanor of this show, all of them being generic and even a bit stereotypical in some cases. Now that I think about it, Ghostly Adventures is kind of a spiritual successor to this show in some ways: both revolve around the premise of inexplicably turning a beloved arcade game character into a teenager, both have bad animation and stale writing, and both are just completely forgettable in every aspect. Disc Derby Fiasco: Well, at least we have Q*Bert’s appearance in Wreck-it-Ralph to make up for this.

To be concluded…    

Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes (No. 16-14)

NO. 16: A Little Learning (Super Mario World)

While observing Yoshi and his friend Oogtar (Ah yes, I remember him!…he was from Mario Teaches Typing, right?) attending a school ran by Princess Toadstool (Princess Peach as she’s known in these shows), Hip and Hop Koopa (Iggy and Lemmy Koopa as they’re known in these shows) decide that they want to go to school too, claiming that it “looks like a blast”. Immediately, there’s a problem here, the most glaring and obvious one being the fact that they’re the kids of King Koopa (Bowser as he’s known in these shows), who has repeatedly attempted to force Toadstool into marriage or dispose of the Mario Bros. There’s no way that they would just let you-

*Hip and Hop are accepted into the class.*

(sigh) Never change, DiC. Never change…

Anyways, the main problem with this episode is the way that it handles its’ moral. The SMW cartoon was made at a time when the censors where really starting to have a hand in the creative process of shows, which ended up with each episode having a lesson of sorts to teach, such as “Don’t join gangs”, “Don’t get suckered into fast food”, and the lesson that this episode tried (and failed, hard) to teach, “Judge others by who they are, not what they are”. If that’s the case, then the writers at least could have tried to make Hip and Hop a bit more sympathetic behind their reasoning of wanting to go to school, rather than them just going “WOWIE, SCHOOL SURE DOES LOOK LIKE FUN, LET’S GO!!” In addition to this, we’ve also got ANOTHER musical number, this time on the levels of…well, ANY obnoxious teeny bop musician these days. A Little Learning: The people behind this need more than a little of it.

NO. 15: Translate This (Sonic Boom)

It goes without saying that Sonic the Hedgehog does not have what one would call a desirable track record with animation. AOSTH was an incomprehensible mess, SatAM was slightly better but was too slow-paced for its’ own good, Underground was entertaining in all the wrong ways, and Sonic X, while admittedly the most faithful out of all the shows, was an average-at-best anime turned mind-numbingly awful English dub courtesy of the company with a strange vendetta for riceballs. As you could guess by my pick for this spot, Sonic Boom is the show that I care the absolute least for, and once I’m done tearing this episode apart, you’ll understand exactly why. The plot revolves around Tails building a machine which he dubs as the “UT”, which can read the mind of anyone and translate their thoughts into concrete words, which leads to fighting amongst Sonic and the crew. The main problem with this episode is a problem that persists a lot throughout the series: For a Sonic cartoon, it can be surprisingly mean at times. For instance, after UT gets stolen by Eggman, the gang refuses to help Tails recover him due to the fact that all it did was made them fight (Which really could have been avoided in the first place had they not thought so lowly of each other). A disappointed Tails then proclaims that he’ll get UT back by himself, and sets off to Eggman’s lair. Not only does literally no one attempt to stop him (Not even Sonic), but later on it’s shown that they were just lying about doing nothing! In addition to this, we also get a bunch of scenes showing just how far Knuckles has fallen from being the gullible, but nonetheless no-nonsense guardian of the Master Emerald to a complete and utter simpleton, as well as CGI which is okay at best and at worst is sub-par and stiff. Add all of these things up, and you’ll know why I think Sonic Boom is the worst iteration of the blue blur to date. Translate This: A more accurate title would be “Who Would Wanna Watch This?”.

NO. 14: Is Zit You Or Is Zit Me? (Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures)

Jumping from one crappy “re-imagining” of a beloved video game icon to another, what we’ve got here is yet another case of a franchise struggling to stay afloat in the current market, and thus resorting to selling itself out (The absolute last thing ANY franchise should do). The plot revolves around Pac-Man (Speaking of which, why is he called Pac-Man in this show if he’s supposed to be a teenager? Shouldn’t he be called Pac-Boy or something?) getting a zit before Class Picture Day, which apparently grows bigger and bigger the more he lingers on the thought of it. Upon hearing this, the antagonist of the show, Betrayus (I’m not kidding, that’s actually his name), sends all of the ghosts from the Netherland or whatever the hell it’s called to say the most hurtful things that they can think of to make the zit grow bigger and bigger. Ultimately, Pac ends up bloating up to the size of a hot air balloon and ends up floating across the entire city of Pacopolis (Really? What was wrong with the Pac-Village?), and ends up becoming the laughingstock of the town. Oh, and he even says this:

“Oh man, I’m a meme!”

Can you say “We’re Still Relevant, Dammit“?

Aside from that, how does the episode stand out on its’ own? Well, to put it lightly…imagine the infamous SpongeBob SquarePants episode “The Splinter”, except in CGI, even more poorly-written, a moral, and slightly less disgusting. Slightly. Is Zit You or Is Zit Me: Sorry Pac, but you’ve got way more important problems that being a meme.

To be continued…

Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes (No. 20-17)

In an age where literature and comic books have practically become the go-to sources for big-budget movie adaptations, the craving for a good video game blockbuster feature has gotten increasingly more severe (Though I’d honestly prefer games to just stay as games, which I’ll delve deeper into at the end of the last part), which kind of speaks for itself when you consider the fact that what is arguably the best one out of all of them has a gag revolving around one of the characters taking a piss into a lake. So, seeing as how it’s a medium that provides creators and artists with far less limitations than film, as well as one that seems more suited for games, most people prefer to just take the easy way out and just go for the small screen. I mean, what could go wrong?

….

(sigh), Well, I suppose you all might have figured it out judging by the title. Although not quite as riddled with them as much as the film industry, the world of television has still given birth to horrid game adaptations a plenty, especially animated ones. From Mario, to Sonic, and even the lesser-known characters like the Battletoads, many of these animated adaptations are often considered to be some of the worst to ever come out of the industry, and we’ll be listing off twenty episodes from each of them. So, get ready to wreck some remotes, as we take a look at the Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes. By the way, expect all five articles to be fairly lengthy.

RULES:

-Each episode must be from a different show, although different shows based on a particular game are accepted.

-The episode must have something a major, noteworthy flaw, and must be bad in an interesting or unique way.

– Don’t expect to see the Pokemon anime on here, because if I had to list off one episode, I’d have to list the entire show.

NO. 20: No Parking (Rayman: The Animated Series)

The Rayman franchise, with all of its’ bizarre, goofy characters and fantastical wacky worlds, is one that would fit in perfectly on the small screen. You got a protagonist of indecipherable species that has the ability to detach his limbs and use his hair like a helicopter, a dumb blue frog-like creature, robotic pirates, fairies, nymphs, and all sorts of the like! So, with that in mind, how does the VERY short-lived cartoon show (I’m not joking when I say that. This thing lasted for four episodes. FOUR EPISODES!!!!) fare? Not that great. While the animation is actually pretty good for the time, especially for a television production, it has as much in common with the games as much as Dragon Ball Evolution does with the anime that it originated from. That’s a problem that you can expect to pop up A LOT throughout this list, by the way. Aside from the titular character and Razorbeard (who only appeared in the first episode), none of the characters from the games make an appearance. Instead, we get characters such as Lac Mac, Betina, Cookie, and Flips, all of whom are painfully bland and one-note, Betina in particular. So, what about the plot? Ray and the gang have recently escaped the circus and are on the run from a police officer named Grub, and end up stopping at a park to rest. After Flips ends up getting trapped in a car which is sent to a scrapyard, the gang must rescue her but end up in grave danger themselves. Suddenly, Ray somehow gains the ability to detach his hands as well as using his helicopter hair, and…well, that’s about it. The main problem with this episode is that it doesn’t really have that much of a plot. Instead, stuff just happens. The humor is also pretty lackluster, mostly consisting of slapstick humor similar to the likes of Wile E. Coyote (except not funny), and jokes that force down each character’s one-note trait down our throats. Also, while I don’t like to repeat my points, almost none of the characters from the games make appearances. Maybe the new characters would’ve been tolerable if they were the central focus of just one episode, but not an entire freaking series! Really, the only saving grace here is Billy West’s performance as Rayman. You gotta admire the guy for making the best out of things. No Parking: Nobody should be forced to sit through this mess.

NO. 19: Fairies In The Spring (The Legend of Zelda)

Ah yes, the cartoon that is reviled by Zelda fans across the globe, and is also responsible for this genius and totally not-annoying phrase:

“Excuuuuse me, Princess!”

While all of the episodes of this show are bad, one sticks out in particular mostly due to the sheer stupidity of its’ plot. King Harkinian is building a water park for Hyrule, but its’ construction is threatened by the appearances of water monsters. Wanting to get to the bottom of this, he enlists his daughter, Zelda and her sidekick Link (Yeah, I’m calling him the sidekick. That’s pretty much what he is in this show) to investigate. In the end, it turns out that the water park was just placed too close to the Fairy Kingdom, and the park was just draining their water supply, so the King had his daughter create the water monsters to scare the builders off.

“THE LEGEND OF ZELDA! ACTION, ADVENTURE, AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO LEFT THE TOILET SEAT UP THE OTHER NIGHT!”

Besides that, the episode has the same flaws as all of the other episodes of this series: Link’s an obnoxious, wannabe womanizing jerk (Though I’d take that any day over his insultingly scatterbrained personality from the CD-i games), the animation is terrible, the writing is cheesy, and the action is just boring. Fairies In The Spring: I’d much rather apply springs to my shoes than watch this crap.

NO. 18: Kong For A Day (Donkey Kong Country)

The DKC TV show is one of the penultimate bad video game cartoons. It’s got almost everything: bad animation, annoying characters, lack of faithfulness to the source material, and a whole bunch of other problems. However, while it is pretty damn bad, I really wouldn’t have included any of the episodes if not for this particular one. The plot revolves around King K. Rool going around DK Island – oops, I mean “Kongo Bongo”, making all of DK’s friends mad at him for things that he didn’t do, ultimately resulting in DK being banished to the White Mountains and Diddy being proclaimed the new ruler of Kongo Bongo by the Crystal Coconut. Oh yeah, the Crystal Coconut! I totally remember that from the games! Except it never was in any of the games, and is just another reminder that the people who make these things can’t  stick to what the game already has to offer in terms of story! Anyways, what’s the problem with this episode? Well, just look at the plot. ALL of DK’s friends get so irate with him without ever taking anything into consideration! For example, when Cranky wakes up to find his cabin destroyed, he sees a half-eaten banana and immediately deduces that DK was responsible. Err…Cranky, I kinda hate to tell you this, but…YOU LIVE ON AN ISLAND INHABITED BY PRIMATES WHERE BANANAS ARE THE MAIN SOURCE OF FOOD! It could’ve been anyone who left that banana! In addition to the plot, we’ve also got musical numbers. Yes, you heard me: musical numbers. Though to be fair, they can range from being pretty good to downright atrocious. Also, there are times when the CGI can get pretty damn creepy (there’s a scene with Dixie which you have to see for yourselves). In the end, DK ends up coming back, saves the day, and defeats K. Rool, but all of his friends sans Diddy are still mad at him (At least, that’s what I assume. The episode never has a scene with DK’s friends apologizing), leaving the episode off on a surprisingly unsatisfying note. Kong For A Day: Don’t spoil your day by watching this hunk of junk.

NO. 17: Curse Of The Lion Men (Mega Man)

Ah yes, even before the days of pizza explosions, cancelled games, and…whatever the hell THIS is, the blue bomber had his fair share of misfires, this in particular being one of them. The problem with this episode goes beyond the corny one-liners and mindless action sequences that’s to be expected from these types of shows, and really just goes to the fact that it’s just so…out there. Okay, I know that a game about a robot kid dressed in blue that goes around shooting at other robots and stealing their abilities isn’t exactly conceptually sophisticated itself, but hear me out: The plot revolves around Wily’s robots discovering a tribe of alien lion creatures, who then go around spreading an infection that turns humans into alien lion creatures in their plot to take over the world. After Wily sides with Tar, the leader of the lions, he ends up getting betrayed and turned into a lion himself along with Dr. Light, leaving it to Mega Man to find a way to put an end to the infection and defeat Tar and the lions. With all that out of the way, I’m sure you all know what I mean by this one being “out there”. In addition to that, the animation and voice acting are pretty shoddy, overall making up one of the most “WTF” cartoons of all time. Curse Of The Lion Men: It’d be a real curse to have to watch this for the rest of my life.

To be continued…

retr0spective: Naughty Dog (Part Four) *FINAL PART*

After the completion and release of Jak 3 (though not very long after Rubin and Gavin’s departure), ND immediately gathered up its’ staff to begin the pre-development phase on their next big project, which was then known at the time as…well, “Big”. While the Jak series still had a somewhat cartoony look to it (even in the follow-ups), ND wanted to take the realism even further, opting to go for a much more photo-realistic route and to push the boundaries beyond any of their previous games’ visuals. Wanting to create something that was “fresh and interesting” and unlike anything they had ever done before, they drew inspiration from a plethora of pre-existing material, such as classical adventure serials, pulp magazines, National Treasure, Indiana Jones, and shockingly NOT Tomb Raider.

During development of the game, ND had went through, as one of their lead designers said, a “really dark period”. In addition to the fact that they had their first ever cancelled game on their hands AND the fact that their founders had left them behind, many of their employees were growing dissatisfied with the direction the new game was taking, and one by one many of them were jumping ship, proclaiming that the game would “never be finished” and that ND had “bitten off more than they could chew”. To solve this problem, they decided to split up the company (or for a better term, what was left) into a total of two teams: the first one being the ones who “wanted to make it work” and the others being “the ones who wanted to make it awesome”. Regardless, ND pushed on, and it wasn’t long until the game was ready for release AND was given its’ official name: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune.

The game’s story revolves around Nathan Drake, a sarcastic adrenaline junkie and apparent descendant of Sir Francis Drake, as he embarks on an epic journey to discover the mythical lost city of El Dorado as well as the treasure located deep within it. Along the way, he’s aided by his father figure and mentor, Sully, as well as a journalist by the name of Elena Fisher.

When the game was unleashed onto store shelves in Thanksgiving of 2007, it was met with unanimously positive reception, with many of its’ praise going to its’ near-lifelike art style, lovable characters, great writing, well-thought out platforming, and exhilarating action sequences. The game was also a major commercial success, selling a total of 2.6 million copies. In the wake of the game’s success, three sequels and a spin-off for the now pretty much-dead PS Vita were released, with the former receiving just as much praise and success as Fortune did, while the latter just received good, but not “OMG GAME OF THE YEAR”-level reviews, but was still met with commercial success nonetheless.

In 2004, Neil Druckmann, one of ND’s most well-known employees, was attending Carnegie Mellon University. During that year, the university held a contest in which several students were to conceptualize video games of their own. The concepts would then be shown to George A. Friggin’ Romero, who would then choose the concept that he liked best. Druckmann’s concept was something along the lines of “Ico meets Night of the Living Dead”, in which a police officer similar to that of John Hartigan from world-famous comic book artist Frank Miller’s Sin City would have to protect a young girl during a zombie apocalypse. While Druckmann’s idea didn’t end up getting chosen, he still kept it fresh in his mind even after joining Naughty Dog.

In 2009, shortly after the release of Uncharted 2, ND had decided to put development of the inevitable third game on hold in order to put focus on what was then known as “T1″…or was it “Project Thing”? Whatever they called it backed then, I guess. It was at this point that Druckmann’s concept was finally started to be realized, albeit not quite how he started it. For starters, the main character was no longer a policeman, and the zombies were instead made into horrifically mutated fungus zombies called the Infected. Taking inspiration from Alan Weisman’s The World Without Us and historical deadly epidemics such as the 1918 flu pandemic, the game was set to be a dark and dramatic tale about the desperation of survival, hope, redemption, love, and loyalty. Certainly a far cry from the days of yellow-skinned scientists with giant Ns on their foreheads and orange marsupials that go about spinning into wooden crates and collecting made-up fruit, isn’t it?

After spending three years in production and an added extra month following a delay, the game was released in 2013 for the Playstation 3 as The Last of Us. 

The game’s story takes place twenty years after an outbreak of a fungal virus across the USA, as Joel, a bitter middle-aged man, must escort a teenage orphan immune to the virus named Ellie to safety. Along the way, the two end up forming a strong father-daughter-esque bond, and soon end up discovering what could possibly be the key to reserving the outbreak. When the game was released….to say that it received universal acclaim would pretty much be the same as saying…well, ANY obvious statement. I mean…LOOK AT THESE SCORES!! SIX OF THEM ARE PERFECT!!!!  The only one that isn’t giving it massive praise is Polygon, but even then a 7.5 is still considered a decent enough score! In terms of sales, the charts were utterly topped, as the game sold 1.3 million copies about seven days after its’ release. “Impressive” doesn’t even begin to describe that…

Following the game’s illustrious performance, Sony immediately jumped on ship to turn it into their next hit video game franchise. Although it has yet to get a sequel, the game has received merchandise a plenty, DLC, a comic book, and a film adaptation! The latter of which will probably never happen…but still, with all of the attention that the game has gotten, it’s a sure-fire bet that we’ll be getting a follow-up sooner or later.

Naughty Dog is often considered by many to be one of the greatest video game studios of all-time, and it’s not easy to see why. Through all of the troubles and events that they’ve gone through, their stupendous efforts and contributions to the gaming industry are not in vain. They have given us some of the most iconic and beloved video games ever created, as well as being partly responsible for making Sony a force to be reckoned with in the video game market. From their relatable, sympathetic, well-written, and all-around lovable characters, from their well-crafted production and gameplay practices, and the many ways that they’ve took storytelling in video games, for a lack of a better term, to the next level, their tale is quite frankly one of video game legends, and it continues to grow stronger and stronger with each game released. Hats off to you, ND.

* I did not make this video. It was done by fellow YouTuber zapidante.*

What is your favorite Naughty Dog game? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below, and thanks for reading!

retr0spective: Naughty Dog (Part Three)

Eight months before the release of Team Racing, ND had begun the pre-development phase on what was then known as “Project Y”. However, because most of the team was so busy working on Team Racing, only two programmers were put on the project while the rest of the studio finished up Team Racing. It was only after ND had made the decision to let Crash go and the release of the PlayStation 2 that the rest of the studio had came onto the project. Soon, Sony managed to whip up a little demonstration featuring a character of theirs that they called “Boxman”, and showed it to Sony. Impressed by what they were soon, Sony green-lit the project, and development of the game REALLY started.

Wanting to make unique and recgonizable characters for the then-just-released PS2 in the same fashion that they did with Crash, the folks at ND brought Charles Zemballis on board once again to design the protagonists and help develop the world and aesthetic of the game. While they went with a more victorian/steampunk look at first, the game started to resemble its’ final form with they went with a more tribal look and feel. Finally, they decided to go with something along the likes of a Lord of the Rings-esque fantasy world, which ended up sticking. It was at this point as well that the characters’ designs were finalized, and were named Jak and Daxter respectively. During the development, ND had developed the game using an engine which was used for the first Crash game and was dubbed as “GOAL” and made several little tweaks to it, which resulted in the game having no fog or loading times whatsoever. Originally, there was also going to be a third character who would accompany Jak and Daxter throughout the game, and was even said to play in a “Tamogatchi” style. However, the character ended up getting scrapped after ND decided to just focus the gameplay on Jak and Daxter only. After several months of hard work and blood, sweat, and tears, the game was finally completed and ready for released, and hit the store shelves in 2001 under the name of Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy.

The game’s story revolved around the titular Jak, an elf/humanoid thing, and Daxter, an ottsel and former human, as they embark on an epic journey throughout their world to reverse Daxter’s condition and stop the evil Gol and Maia from drowning the world in Dark Eco – the same substance that caused Daxter to transform into an ottsel in the first place. Throughout their adventure, they’re accompanied by Samos, a cranky elderly sage, and his daughter Keira, an inventor, as they must collect Power Cells and Precursor Orbs to advance through the world. When it was released, the game performed PHENOMENALLY, receiving several near-perfect scores as well as being a huge commercial success, selling over one million copies. At this point, a sequel was a definite no-brainer, and ND had yet another franchise on their hands – and if that wasn’t enough, there was no middle man in the equation this time around! Soon, the game went on to spawn two significantly darker sequels as well as two spin-offs, one of which is centered around Daxter himself. During this time, after making a speech at the D.I.C.E. Summit that caused him to gain quite a bit of flak, Rubin had decided to move on from Naughty Dog along with Gavin, leaving behind the company that gained them fame and fortune as video game developers, leaving it in the hands of Christophe Balestra and Evan Wells.

During the ongoing development of the PS3, Naughty Dog wanted to make a next-gen Jak and Daxter game in the same fashion that Insomniac would eventually do with the Ratchet & Clank games. While it did have the working title of “Jak 4”, it was not set to be a sequel to any of the previous games – in fact, it was going to be a reboot. This can be seen by just how non-cartoonish and realistic the character design is. Not even the characters themselves were safe from radical differences, as Daxter, who is often considered to be one of the funniest video game characters of all time, was going to be mute. Needless to say, when some of this information was revealed to fans long after the project’s cancellation, it didn’t go down so well. A few years later, a new Jak and Daxter game titled The Lost Frontier was released; unfortunately, it wasn’t developed by ND (some of the people that work at the company that developed it are former ND members), and is considered to be a huge disappointment. I share these sentiments, as I do find it to be pretty bland compared to the first three games.

At this point, things aren’t looking so good for ND. While they were still financially stable, they still had a cancelled project on their hands, as well as the fact that their founders had left them behind. After taking some time to recover, they had decided to shift focus back on a project that they were developing which was code-named “Big”, and soon, their “fortunes” would turn in their favor…

To be concluded…

What’s Next? II

THE REMAINDER OF JUNE:

retr0spective: Naughty Dog (Part Three) (6/12/16)

Streets of Rage (6/18/16)

retr0spective: Naughty Dog (Part Four) (6/19/16)

Kirby’s Dream Land (6/25/16)

retr0spective: Junction Point (6/26/16)

JULY:

Mega Man X (7/2/16)

retr0spective: LucasArts Adventure Games (Part One) (7/3/16)

Looney Tunes Games (7/9/16)

retr0spective: LucasArts Adventure Games (Part Two) (7/11/16)

Inspector Gadget (7/16/16)

retr0spective: LucasArts Adventure Games (Part Three) (7/17/16)

Earthworm Jim (7/23/16)

retr0spective: LucasArts Adventure Games (Part Four) (7/24/16)

Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures (7/30/16)

retr0spective: LucasArts Adventure Games (Part Five) (7/31/16)

AUGUST:

The Smurfs (8/6/16)

retr0spective: Team17 (8/7/16)

Little Samson (8/13/16)

retr0spective: Sucker Punch (8/14/16)

Popful Mail (8/20/16)

retr0spective: Retro VGS (8/21/16)

Atomic Robo Kid (8/27/16)

retr0spective: Silicon Knights (8/28/16)

SEPTEMBER:

Crash Bandicoot (9/3/16)

retr0spective: Rare – The Ultimate Era (9/4/16)

Bart vs. The World (9/10/16)

retr0spective: Rare – The Nintendo Era (9/11/16)

Jazz Jackrabbit (9/17/16)

retr0spective: Rare – The Microsoft Era (9/18/16)

ClayFighter (9/24/16)

retr0spective: Neversoft (9/25/16)

OCTOBER (Halloween-Themed Month):

Scooby-Doo Mystery (10/1/16)

Doom (10/8/16)

Aero the Acro-Bat (10/15/16)

Fester’s Quest (10/22/16)

Castlevania (10/29/16)

NOVEMBER:

Sonic the Hedgehog (11/5/16)

retr0spective: Psygnosis (11/6/16)

Bonk’s Adventure (11/12/16)

retr0spective: Codemasters (11/13/16)

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars *THANKSGIVING SPECIAL* (11/19/16)

retr0spective: Hasbro Interactive (11/20/16)

Awesome Possum Kicks Dr. Machino’s Butt (11/26/16)

retr0spective: Oddworld Inhabitants (11/27/16)

DECEMBER:

LJN’s “Greatest” Hits (12/3/16)

retr0spective: Radical Entertainment (12/4/16)

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile (12/10/16)

retr0spective: Tatio (12/11/16)

StarTropics (12/17/16)

retr0spective: Double Fine (12/18/16)

E.T. The Extra Terrestrial *CHRISTMAS SPECIAL* (12/24/16)

retr0spective: Big Red Button Entertainment (12/25/16)

retr0spective: Naughty Dog (Part Two)

When we last left the company with the red paw, they had just emerged from what seemed to be their darkest hour, and had just begun discussing ideas for the first game in their deal with the fine folks at Universal Interactive Entertainment. Upon coming to the realization that action platformers had yet to make a full transition into the third dimension at the time, they had decided that they would be the ones to attempt to pull off what seemed to be an impossible concept at the time, and soon, production of the then-untitled game began. Due to the fact that the player would have to look at the character’s rear for a majority of the game, Rubin and Gavin jokingly gave it the code name of “Sonic’s Ass Game”. Dissatisfied with underpeforming consoles such as the Sega Saturn & 32X, the 3D0, and the Jaguar, they decided to develop the game for the Sony PlayStation due to its’ “sexy” nature.

Keeping in line with many other mascot platform games at the time, the main character was set to be an animal – which one he was going to be however, had yet to have been decided. In a similar fashion to what Sega did with Sonic and what Warner Bros. did with Taz, Rubin and Gabin wanted to find an animal that was “cute, real, and no one really knew about”. They looked into various Australian mammals, such as the potoroo, the wombat, and the bandicoot. While the wombat was the animal chosen initially, they ultimately shifted over to the bandicoot. They had also planned on changing his name, “Willy the Wombat” as well, as they believed it sounded “dorky”. The fact that there was another fictional wombat of slightly different spelling but same pronunciation on, ironically, a cartoon starring Taz himself, might have also been a factor. Universal themselves actually gave them suggestions, such as “Wizzy”, “Wez”, “Wuzzles” and “Ozzy the Ottsel”. While all of these names ended up being rejected by Rubin and Gavin, one of them was refitted for a character in another one of their games, which we’ll get to in the third part.

Wanting to truly give the game a distinct and alive look, ND turned towards several cartoonists and artists such as Butch Hartman, Joe Pearson, and of course, Charles Zembillas, to help develop the overall feel of the game, as well as to help finalize the design of Willy. During the process, the game’s jungle environments had begun to come into play. In addition to this, Rubin and Gavin, with the help of Cerny and one of Gavin’s friends, were inspired by the Animaniacs skit turned spin-off Pinky & The Brain, and looked to creative a more malevolent Brain – an idea that would soon give birth to the character of Doctor Neo Cortex. However, ND had yet to come to the conclusion of one little thing; that little thing being what exactly the main character’s name, and the game itself’s offical name, would be. After going through several names once more, they had finally reached a deduction, and the game from that point was to be referred to as Crash Bandicoot.

Released in 1996, the game’s story revolved around the titular character, as he must make his way throughout several serene but treacherous islands, in order to rescue his girlfriend Tawna from the devious clutches of Cortex and his partner in crime, N. Brio. While it wasn’t quite as successful or acclaimed as Super Mario 64, ND’s hard work still paid off immensely, as the game received good reviews and sold plenty of copies. Upon realizing they really had something on their hands, ND decided to make the two other games of the deal (and eventually third, as the contract was soon extended to a four game deal) follow-ups to the original. Fortunately, it was a decision that would prove to be a very wise move, as the sequels and spin-off, Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, and Crash Team Racing, released in 1997, 1998, and 1999 respectively, were even more successful than the first. But as the old saying goes…all good things must come to an end eventually.

(NOTE: I did not draw, nor do I own this picture. It belongs to DeviantArt artist King-Sorrow.)

After the release of Team Racing, ND, wanting to focus more on their relationship with Sony and feeling restricted by Universal, decided not to renew their contract any further, a decision that unfortunately meant that they had no other choice but to leave their crate-smashing marsupial behind. But although their days with their original flagship series were over, ND’s “legacy” had only just begun…

To be continued…