Once again, I have been granted the pleasant honor of recieving a nomination! This time around, I’d like to thank my good friend DeLuxODonnell92, the creator of Blogspot and WordPress sites respectively titled Kyle’s Animated World and Kyle Loves Animation And More. In addition to knowing a lot about all sorts of media, he’s also just a really great guy to talk to in general. Be sure to check his stuff out and also follow him on Twitter!
For those who are unaware, the One Lovely Blog Awardis a nomination in which the person who is presented with it must state a total of seven tidbits about yourself, then followed by nominating another blog, thus continuing an endless cycle. With that said, let us get to the facts…
NO. 1 – I Vastly Prefer Dry Cereal
I honestly have no clue why, but I always found cereal with milk to be completely disgusting. Maybe it’s because of the sogginess, or how most of the time the taste of the cereal doesn’t go well with milk at all, who knows.
NO. 2 – I Don’t Think The Mega Man Games Are That Great (For The Most Part)
Now before you say anything, let me make it clear that this doesn’t mean I don’t hate them or generally think of them as bad games – far from it, actually. I find them to be fun and unique titles in their own right, but I feel like a lot of them (especially the NES games) can get somewhat repetitive and often abuse the cheap difficulty tatic of game design. However, there are certain exceptions to this. The Mega Man X series is one that I would truly go on to claim as great, and the Zero spin-off games aren’t half-bad either.
NO. 3 – I Really, Really Love Animals
But even then, I’m not quite sure who doesn’t. In addition to being capaable of amazing biological and physical feats, they can also make unbelievably loyal companions and are also fascinating to research.
NO. 4 – I’m A Huge Soda Addict
Once I sip a can of one of them, I literally cannot put it down. Seriously, that’s how severe it is. Although I do make efforts to reduce it from my diet once in a while, I still can’t help to have a thirst from it.
NO . 5 – Unless They’re In Proper Hands, I Think That Video Games Should Remain As Video Games
Let’s be honest – video games are a medium that will never truly find any solid ground in terms of adaptations. In addition to frequently BARELY resembling their source games, most of the ones that are more faithful to their source games aren’t that great either. Maybe one day this trope will be subverted, but I ain’t getting my hopes up.
NO. 6 – I’m Not A Sonic Fan
Yeah, I have to come clean and admit it. While I absolutely adore the Genesis trilogy and CD and enjoyed some of the other titles in the franchise, I honestly think that most of them range from being mediocre, to bad, to levels of wretchedness that no game should ever be allowed to achieve. It doesn’t help either that when you really think about it, some of them like Heroes and Lost World have legitimately great ideas but end up falling short. If you enjoy the franchise, no harm done. But for the most part, it simply isn’t my cup of tea.
(However, I am greatly looking forward to Mania and Project 2017.)
NO. 7 – I’m Planning On Making A Game Of My Own One Day
If there’s one thing that I’ve wanted to accomplish since I was a youngling, it’s contributing to my favorite entertainment medium of all time. A couple of years back, I actually created a batch of characters for a potential gaming media franchise (the antagonist of whom I revealed in a tweet not too many days ago). I really want this project to grow into something more in the future, and once I get a hold of an engine (preferably Unity or Unreal Engine), I can get started on it. With that said, I hope you all enjoy what I’m going to be revealing very soon.
First off, I’d like to give The Well Red Mage a huge thanks for nominating me for this. It’s pretty astounding how many awesome folks you can meet through a site like WordPress, and I couldn’t be any more grateful for it.
How It Works:
-Thank the person who nominated you
-Attach the award in the article
-Give a brief story of how you started your blog
-Give out a piece of advice or two to new bloggers
-Choose five other bloggers to give the award to
Why I Started retr0pia:
For the longest time, I wanted to start a blog about something, but I wasn’t quite sure about what it should be focused around. However, after taking note about just how many titles from The Classic Age of Gaming (Which in my eyes, started in 1978 and ended in 1999, though I may stretch it out to 2001 when Sega announced their withdrawal from the console market) have either received extremely negative attention or have just been outright forgotten whether or not they truly deserve it, I realized what my blog should be focused around: reviews of classic video games, and choosing which ones hold up, and which ones don’t.
A Piece Of Advice:
Always make sure to branch out in terms of content and topics. As a wise man once said, “Variety’s the very spice of life, That gives it all its flavor”.
This is it, folks. Just ten more episodes, and this whole nightmare will FINALLY be done and over with. So, let’s not bother wasting any time.
NO. 10: Happy Birthday, Mega Man (Captain N)
Captain N was a show that admittedly had a lot going for it. The idea of several of the NES’ most popular games at the time coming together in an action-adventure cartoon along the lines of Who Framed Roger Rabbit was one that drew a lot of people in, and in the end it actually ended up becoming a fairly popular and well-received series. Looking back on it now, though…yeah, it’s total garbage. That shouldn’t be surprising though, considering that it is made by DiC. The main problem with this episode (besides the fact that the NES characters look NOTHING like themselves) is that it’s just…well, boring. Aside from Mega Man (who sounds like Popeye if he had a severe case of throat cancer) wanting to be human and the heroes going on some sort of lame quest, there really isn’t much of an actual plot to be found. Oh, and for an added bonus, Roll makes her first (and only) appearance in this series as “Mega Girl”, once again proving that DiC couldn’t bother to research information about the games they make cartoons about even if there was a gigantic book right on top of their desks. Happy Birthday, Mega Man: At this point, I’m anything but “Happy”.
NO. 9: Kombat Begins Again (Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm)
Mortal Kombat was, without question, one of the most mature game franchises of the 90’s. It had a significantly non-kid-friendly cast of characters, themes such as corruption and revenge, and was packed to the brim with all kinds of brutal, bloody violence. So, with that in mind, WHO THE HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A CHILDREN’S CARTOON BASED OFF OF IT?But believe it or not, the idea by itself is the least of this thing’s problems! For starters, the character designs just look…off. It’s obvious that they were trying to invoke a Bruce Timm-esque style, but there’s something about that just doesn’t seem appropriate for a Mortal Kombat show. Next, the writing. You know how I said that Battletoads was nothing but lame jokes and catchphrases? Well, that’s exactly what this is, but somehow even worse. Lastly, the fight scenes. I don’t know if I can even call refer to them as such, because they’re so slow and so dumbed down to the point where I’m not sure if what I’m watching is an actual Mortal Kombat show! Kombat Begins Again: Forget Annihilation, THIS is the worst thing to have the Mortal Kombat brand’s name on it!
NO. 8: Oh Brother (The Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3)
Like Sonic, Mario does not have what one would call a good track record with cartoons. Unlike Sonic however, Mario’s cartoons were so bad that they only made three before they decided to call it quits, and after watching this piece of crap, it’s not hard to see why. The main problem with this episode is that it’s just so dang predictable. Be honest, how many times have you’ve seen an episode of ANY show where the protagonists have a scuffle over some random circumstance only to make up at the end? I’d also like to point out that throughout the episode, various sound effects from the games themselves can be heard, which is kind of cool at first, but after a while just becomes irritating. At the very least, the voice actors do their best with what they’re given (Walker Boone and Tony Rosato are definitely no Charles Martinet or even a Lou Albano and Danny Wells, but they do get the job done) and even deliver some fairly amusing performances (I actually wish that Harvey Atkin was the voice for Bowser in the actual games, or Koopa as he’s referred to in the cartoons). Oh Brother: My god, even the titles are starting to reflect my mood.
NO. 7: ALL Of The Ape Escape Shorts
Yes, believe it or not, at one point there was actually a series of animated shorts based off of the now-dormant PlayStation franchise Ape Escape (made by the same production company behind shows such as Adventure Time and Fairly Odd Parents, no less). And to the surprise of no one, they were…pretty awful. Now, I could just list off a single short and be done with it, but when it all boils down, they all suffer from the same problems: The character designs are terrible, each joke fizzles like a bacon strip on a frying pan, the pacing is awkward, and it’s just not very faithful to the games in general. Honestly, I think that this, Dragon Ball Evolution, and others serve as reminders on just how careful we need to be when adapting Japanese material for an American audience. Ape Escape: To watch this would truly drive someone bananas.
NO. 6: Bad Rap (The Super Mario Bros. Super Show)
Have you ever wondered if something could be so desperately “hip with the cool kids” to the point where it just became downright insufferable to watch? Well, wonder no more, because DiC’s got you covered with this stinking heap. For about the entirety of the episode, the characters speak in nothing but rap. Oh, and for some added bonuses, the main setting of the episode is a city called “Rap Land”, Koopa’s referred to as “Rappin’ Koopa”, there’s two walking fat jokes called the “Flab Boys” and there’s a not-so-subtle parody of James Brown called “King James”. Bad Rap: “Bad” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
NO. 5: Three Hedgehogs And A Baby (Sonic Underground)
While Sonic Boom is my least personal favorite out of the Sonic cartoons (And I don’t even think that ANY of them are good to begin with), I can’t help but to admit that Sonic Underground is worse on a technical level, this episode being a major factor into that. The plot revolves around Sonic and his siblings (Who only appear in this show, and for some reason are also voiced by Jaleel White) finding an abandoned infant, whom Manic takes a liking to. However, unbeknownst to them is that the infant is actually a life-like android designed by Robotnik and his two cronies Sleet and Dingo (who also only appear in this show), who intend on using it to track them down. So, what exactly is wrong with this episode? Is it the numerous instances where the characters randomly go off-model? Is it the laughably terrible music sequence? Is it the complete and utter disregard for following any of the games, or even SatAM which this show is supposedly closely related to? Yeah…it’s pretty darn awful. But you know, maybe it’s so awful, it’s kind of amusing. Three Hedgehogs And A Baby: Take it away, Joel.
NO. 4: The Medium Is The Message (Street Fighter)
Even if it is considerably more family-friendly than the likes of Mortal Kombat, the idea of turning Street Fighter into a kids’ cartoon is one that sounds like a recipe for disaster. And lo and behold, it IS a disaster! Once again, the story of the games have been dumbed down into something that barely even resembles the games, except this time it’s a G.I. Joe rip-off! And the characters…dear LORD, don’t even get me started on them. I know that they exactly have any intricate depth in the games, but here they’re just so damn stereotypical! You’ve got Gulie, the strong but moralistic leader, Cammy, the no-nonsense action girl, Ken, the totally radical surfer dude, M. Bison, the hammy-as-hell antagonist, and so forth. Their degradation also shows through the writing, which is packed to the brim with all sorts of campy one-liners and mindless action sequences. At the end of the day, it is technically better than the two live-action films, but that would pretty much be like saying getting ran over by a truck is better than getting ran over by a train. The Medium Is The Message: You know something’s bad when the only thing that people remember about it is literally just this.
NO. 3: The Shadow Falls (Double Dragon)
Many consider Double Dragon to be one of the major pioneers of the beat ’em up genre. As for its’ television adaptation however, most tend to just outright deny its’ existence, and judging by this episode, its’ not hard to see why. It’s just a huge, cluttered mess of a vapid prophecy storyline, bad animation, phoned-in voice acting, characters that were either drastically redesigned to the point where you couldn’t even recognize them or weren’t from the games in the first place, and the most laughably terrible theme song to a cartoon that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Oh, and guess who made it. Just guess.
Seriously, who the hell let these people be in charge of so many video game adaptations? The Shadow Falls: There’s no need to cast a shadow of doubt that this sucks hard.
NO. 2: Out Of The Dark (Darkstalkers)
…okay, making a kids’ cartoon show out of Mortal Kombat was bad enough, but…Darkstalkers? Darkstalkers? A game in which one of the characters is a friggin’ SUCCUBUS?Pffft, sure, I don’t see what’s wrong with that! In all seriousness though, even as someone who hasn’t touched a single Darkstalkers game before (Though I do intend on trying out one of the games at one point), I can say that this episode is nothing short of horrendous. Once again, the story of the games have been dumbed in order to appeal to a younger demographic, which when you really think about it, is kind of an odd move. I mean, if you want to make a kids’ show, why make one based off of a game which, one again, HAS A SUCCUBUS AS ONE OF ITS’ CHARACTERS? Also, the characters have been more or less stripped of any or everything that made them so interesting and intriguing in the eyes of arcade fighter fanatics, not having as much of a personality as they do simple, one-note traits. Also, for no apparent reason they made an entirely new character called Harry. I…really don’t have anything to say about him, mainly because he’s just so damn uninteresting. Out Of The Dark: It really should have stayed in the dark.
Take AOSTH, and put it on a strict diet of crystal meth and stale energy drinks. Then, take the most obnoxious, noisy, in your face “90’s ‘tude”, and combine it with said show on said diet. The end result would what is, in my opinion, THE NO. 1 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episode EVER MADE…
NO. 1: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? (Dropped Pilot)
Bubsy was already bad enough as a video game series, but in terms of a conceptual animated television series, it completely SKYROCKETS in terms of awfulness. The characters are irritating. The backgrounds look like Salvador Dali threw up in the back of an alleyway. The running gags are either relentlessly cruel (Poor, poor Arnold…) or aren’t even funny in the first place. The story is all over the place. I could go on for HOURS on just how wretched this thing is! Matter of fact, I’d take Bubsy 3D ANY DAY over this abomination. What Could Possibly Go Wrong: Everything…just….everything…
And that’s all I got for the Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes. Now, if you excuse me…I need a glass of water.
THE END
What is your least favorite video game cartoon? Be sure to leave your thoughts and opinions below, and thanks for reading! Stay retr0!
(NOTE: NO. 10-1 OF THE WORST VIDEO GAME CARTOON EPS WILL BE UPLOADED SOON. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY, ENJOY THE REVIEW!)
Inspector Gadget, a Saturday Morning cartoon revolving around a bumbling cyborg detective who consistently foils the plans of a terrorist organization called M.A.D. led by the nefarious Dr. Claw (whose face we NEVER see, and no, I’m not counting that one time that he was played by Prince Charming) with the help of his dog Brain and his niece Penny, is one that happens to have a sizable cult following. While I can’t say that it’s a great show, I can still understand why it’s so popular amongst 80’s folk. Granted, all of the shows that followed the original have proven to be pretty bad, and there were two absolutely DREADFUL live-action features, but that doesn’t change the fact that it helped to pave the way for DiC Entertainment, who would later go on to make…
…yeah, let’s not delve into that.
Anyways, given that the show was extremely popular at the time, it was a no-brainer that games were to be made…about a good number of years after the show ended, to be precise. The one that we’ll be looking at today is a 1993 side-scrolling SNES title called…well, Inspector Gadget.
The game’s premise revolves around Gadget traveling throughout the world to save his niece Penny from the clutches of M.A.D., and…that’s about it. But putting the lack of actual story aside, where in the spectrum of licensed titles does this game fall? Let’s find out, shall we?
THE LOOKS – Back in the day, most licensed games based off of cartoons were usually made several years after the show itself ended. Some looked like pure garbage, while others like this one actually looked pretty good. However, there’s still a problem. While the levels and their backgrounds are nice and detailed, they do give off a somewhat generic vibe, consisting of ghostly woods, a desert, and the like. Heck, there’s even a level at the end of kind of rips off Wing Fortress from Sonic 2! I forgot to mention that whenever Gadget takes a hit, he loses his clothes. Surely, no other game has ever done this before. Also, at the climax of the aforementioned stage, we actually get to see what Dr. Claw looks like (though I won’t show it since I want to stay true to the series). Now, even as someone who doesn’t care about the series that much, I do have to say that it kind of goes against everything about Claw’s character. I mean, the fact that we never got to saw his face is what made him as interesting and menacing as he is, so why bother ruining it? Eh, let’s just move on.
THE SOUND – Well, I can definitely say that this is one of the SNES’ weaker soundtracks. Putting aside the fact that Hudson Soft made a Inspector Gadget game without the theme song, a lot of the tracks are rather forgettable and just plain boring. Yes, there are plenty of worse soundtracks out there, but that statement alone cannot remedy a flaw. The sound effects on the other hand are fairly tolerable, despite some annoyances here and there.
THE GAMEPLAY – Wow…I’m not sure if I’ve come across a platformer that’s THIS utterly generic in a good while. First off, Gadget’s controls are… not very good. They’re not terrible, but there are a lot of times in which they feel a bit wonky and frustrating. Also, for some reason, every time before he jumps, Gadget does this brief, but nonetheless distracting crouch. Second, the level design is about as uninspired as uninspired gets. Granted, it doesn’t feel sloppy nor is it hard to navigate, but it plays it so safe to the point where it really drags the game down. Thirdly, the gadgets themselves don’t exactly add anything to the game, though it excessively tries to trick you into thinking that they are. While they are rather useful, they don’t do much to make the game actually stand out from the gazillion other licensed platformers at the time. Lastly, the boss fights are atrocious. They are so basic, so easy, and so lazy to the point that they make Crazy Castle look like Dark Souls. You know, Gadget was always incompetent, so I guess that this game is kind of faithful in a way.
THE BOTTOM LINE – Inspector Gadget is one of the most derivative and mediocre titles to ever grace the 16-bit era. The graphics are nice to look at but don’t offer anything new, the music is a chore to listen to, and the gameplay falls as flat as a pancake. I honestly wouldn’t recommend this game unless you’re a diehard Inspector Gadget or platformer fan.
Believe it or not, DKC wasn’t the only Rare game to suffer a god-awful cartoon adaptation. This one, dating a few years back, centers around the origins of the protagonists of the titular hard-as-nails NES beat ’em up, and looking back on it, I can see why this wasn’t picked up for a full series. Putting aside the TERRIBLE animation, I’m not even sure if I can refer what’s in this thing as actual writing. It’s literally nothing more than lame jokes and catchphrases! I also have to mention the theme song. Just…why. The game, even with all of its’ problems (which I’ll get into when I review it some day), had a rockin’, catchy theme tune that I’ve yet to get out of my head. The theme in THIS on the other hand? The most obnoxious surfer dude music that I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Battletoads: Did you really expect a quality cartoon from the same people that brought you AOSTH?
NO . 12: Candibalism (Viva Pinata)
And here we have yet another cartoon based off of a Rare game! Good lord, and people think that their acquisition by Microsoft was the worst thing to ever happen to them. Oh, and for an added bonus, it’s made by these guys! As it turns out, their ineptitude wasn’t limited just to anime dubs. Anyways, the plot revolves around Fergy, one of the pinatas from the game, ordering a chocolate rabbit for some kind of dance party that the pinatas are holding. When his cravings ultimately get the better of him, he decides to disguise the rabbit as his “cousin”. However, when he’s caught feasting on the disguised rabbit whom he already introduced to the pinatas, he ends up getting put on trial in a sequence that’s kind of like the Three Stooges short “Disorder in the Court”. However, while The Three Stooges are actually funny, this is just painful. While the animation resembles the game well enough and the voice actors do a surprisingly decent job for the most part, the premise alone makes no sense whatsoever. It doesn’t matter whether or not the rabbit is someone’s “cousin”, if you still intend on eating it, you’ll still be committing “Candibalism” in a way! And then there’s the ending, which I won’t spoil. But just to give you a hint of sorts, let’s just say it pretty much nullifies the moral that this episode was going for. Candibalism: Can we agree that there shouldn’t be another Rare cartoon adaptation again, EVER?
NO. 11: Disc Derby Fiasco (Q*Bert)
Okay, I can get behind Sonic having some cartoons. I can get behind Donkey Kong having a cartoon. I could even get behind Rayman having a cartoon. But Q*Bert? Freaking Q*Bert? A game where you literally just jump on cubes and discs and avoid weird enemies? I mean, it’s a fun game and all, but was there REALLY any sort of demand for a cartoon series? Anyways, this show was part of “Saturday Supercade” a variety show produced by Ruby-Spears that followed the exploits of several well-known video game characters at the time, such as Donkey Kong (yes, believe it or not there are TWO DK cartoons, a whopping three if you count the DK Junior one), Frogger, and everyone’s favorite, Kangaroo! You know…Kangaroo? That one game where you go around dodging apples and punching monkeys?….anyone?
*sigh*
Anyways, this episode revolves around Q*Bert, who’s a teenager in this show and – HOLD ON A SECOND! He’s a teenager!? I’m sorry, but what is the point behind making video game characters teenagers? It didn’t work for Pac-Man, and it sure as hell doesn’t work for Q*Bert judging by this episode! Anyways, the plot revolves around Q*Bert participating in a flying disc race, the prize for winning being tickets to a rock concert. However, when his disc gets stolen by Coily (one of the main enemies from the game who is also a teenager in this), he must get it back before the race starts. The main problem that this episode has is kind of the same as No Parking: there’s not really much of a plot, but rather stuff just happening. Q*Bert’s disc gets stolen, he gets it back, he wins the race, and that’s literally all that there is. There’s also an abundance of new characters which add to the overall bland demeanor of this show, all of them being generic and even a bit stereotypical in some cases. Now that I think about it, Ghostly Adventures is kind of a spiritual successor to this show in some ways: both revolve around the premise of inexplicably turning a beloved arcade game character into a teenager, both have bad animation and stale writing, and both are just completely forgettable in every aspect. Disc Derby Fiasco: Well, at least we have Q*Bert’s appearance in Wreck-it-Ralph to make up for this.
The Looney Tunes are a group of characters that honestly don’t need any sort of introduction, mainly because of the legendary impact they’ve had on not just animation, but media as a whole. For over 80 years and counting, they’ve entertained and enchanted people of all ages, as well as having helped to establish many of the tropes and rules that we see in comedy today. Needless to say, they’re the very definition of the word “timeless”, and have only gotten better with age. Like many beloved properties, branching out into other mediums are pretty much bound to happen, and as such, video games started coming out…followed by the countless therapy sessions.
If you think that Warner Bros. has tried desperately to “reinvent” the Looney Tunes “for a new generation”, they’ve had even worse luck trying to make a successful video game out of them! And considering some of my past experiences with licensed games, that’s saying a lot. So, get ready to wish that you were watching Space Jam instead, as we take a look at Looney Tunes Games.
To start things off, we’ll be taking a look at a game starring the fastest mouse in all Mexico, with Speedy Gonzales in Los Gatos Bandidos for the Super Nintendo.
This game’s premise revolves around…well, Speedy Gonzales, who must embark on a quest throughout Mexico to save his rodent brethren from the clutches (or in this case, claws) of a group of cat bandits led by Sylvester the Cat. Now, Speedy isn’t a character who’s on the level of popularity of Bugs or Daffy, but even that’s not a good enough excuse for how bad and boring this game is! For starters, aside from a few differences here and there, it’s a direct rip-off of Sonic the Hedgehog. I’m not joking: you run in a certain direction and increasingly gain speed as you do so – just like Sonic! You go down slopes and hills – JUST LIKE SONIC! You bounce off of springs and collect stuff – JUST LIKE– well, you get the idea. I know that Speedy is a fast character (I mean, his frickin’ name is an adjective revolving around quickness), but seriously, Acclaim? Is that really as far as your imagination can go? Look at Superfrog – it might feel like a clone of the blue blur’s classic adventures at times, but it also built upon the formula of them and even added in some ideas and mechanics of its’ own to provide the player with a fun experience as well as an engaging challenge. This game on the other hand, does not. Add in some iffy controls, bland music, and levels that can be a chore to navigate, and you’ve got yourself one seriously unimpressive action-platformer.
Next up, we’ll be going from 16-bits to 8-bits, as we take a look at Daffy Duck in Hollywood for the Sega Master System.
This game’s premise revolves around Daffy Duck, as he must make his way throughout several worlds based off of film genres in order to retrieve Yosemite Sam’s stolen film sets (try saying that five times fast). Seeing as how this game was developed for a console that’s a bit more simplistic in the SNES in terms of technology, how does it fare on its’ own? Well…it’s slightly better than Los Gatos Bandidos, but not by much. The level design is a lot more traditional this time around, which also means that it’s a lot less derivative as well. The controls are also much better this time around, feeling more refined and a lot less loose. However, in terms of compliments, that’s all I got, because this game really isn’t that great. While the levels aren’t painfully boring to navigate, they can still get rather confusing and repetitive at times, which ultimately ends up dragging down the experience. The only legitimate highlight here is the music, which isn’t great by any means but is still nice to listen to.
Next up, we’ll be going from consoles to handhelds, in The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle for the Game Boy.
This game’s premise revolves around none other than that wascally wabbit, Bugs Bunny, as he must make his way throughout the titular castle all while avoiding several foes. This game is actually quite different from the last two, in the sense that it’s more of a arcade-esque puzzle game rather than a platformer. Seeing as how the puzzle genre is a rather simple one, you’d expect that this game would be pretty fun and decent. However, they couldn’t even get THAT right. For starters, the graphics are just lazy, even for the Game Boy! Not only are they way too simplistic, but they also resort to constantly recycling the character sprites. Second, the gameplay is boring as all hell. Basically, every single stage goes like this: Go through doors, avoid the enemies, collect carrots. Go through doors, avoid the enemies, collect carrots. Go through doors, avoid the enemies, collect carrots – AAAGH, THE MONOTONY!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! In a way, it’s kind of like Hotel Mario (another terrible puzzle game), minus all the door closing. Lastly, this game isn’t hard. At all. If anything, it might just be the easiest game I’ve played yet. While you do have to avoid the enemies, it still doesn’t provide that much of a challenge, and it gets even more easy when you kill all of them using the power-ups, because by then all you have to do is just go through doors and collect carrots! And the most baffling part about this is that this game got four sequels, all of which are blatant carbon copies of one another!Ugh, let’s move on to another game before I fall asleep out of boredom.
Alright, one more game before we wrap things up. Let’s take a look at Taz-Mania for the Sega Genesis.
This game is particularly interesting in the sense that it was developed at a time where Taz was actually more popular than Bugs or Daffy at the time, as he was making the rounds in all sorts of merchandise, including a Saturday morning cartoon of his very own that this game is named after. Seeing as how all of the previous games were pretty lackluster, you’d think that this game would at least be a tad bit decent… unfortunately, that’d be giving it far too much credit, ’cause not only is this game bad, it’s also one of the worst Looney Tunes games OF ALL TIME.First off, the sound is probably some of the worst that I’ve ever heard in a 16-bit game, or maybe even the worst ever! Aside from the ear-piercing title screen, some of it barely even counts as actual music, as what you’ll mostly be hearing throughout your playthrough is a complete and utter mish-mash of sound effects, faint music, and random instruments. Next, Taz’s controls are loose beyond possible description, and they get even worse whenever you end up in quicksand or if you use the spin attack. Thirdly, the gameplay itself is just MISERABLE. In fact, it might just rival Oscar in terms of crappiness. Not only does it offer nothing new or interesting in terms of design or mechanics, it’s also yet another case of cheap difficulty, and probably the most severe one that I’ve come across yet. Most of the time, you don’t know whether or not the jump you’ll make will result in you falling to your doom or landing safely on a platform. Because of this, the levels can be extremely unpredictable in terms of design. And lastly, the theme of the cartoon is nowhere to be found. I mean, you got the license, so what’s preventing you from putting the theme in? I mean, Rocky & Bullwinkle for the NES had the theme song…well, a malformed, abominable rendition of it, but still! Either way, this game blows.
Well, there’s a look at some of the Looney Tunes games. I know that there are several more, but it’ll probably be a while until I get around to covering them. Perhaps in the future I’ll make a sequel to this article, but for now…I ain’t risking my sanity.
While observing Yoshi and his friend Oogtar (Ah yes, I remember him!…he was from Mario Teaches Typing, right?) attending a school ran by Princess Toadstool (Princess Peach as she’s known in these shows), Hip and Hop Koopa (Iggy and Lemmy Koopa as they’re known in these shows) decide that they want to go to school too, claiming that it “looks like a blast”. Immediately, there’s a problem here, the most glaring and obvious one being the fact that they’re the kids of King Koopa (Bowser as he’s known in these shows), who has repeatedly attempted to force Toadstool into marriage or dispose of the Mario Bros. There’s no way that they would just let you-
*Hip and Hop are accepted into the class.*
(sigh) Never change, DiC. Never change…
Anyways, the main problem with this episode is the way that it handles its’ moral. The SMW cartoon was made at a time when the censors where really starting to have a hand in the creative process of shows, which ended up with each episode having a lesson of sorts to teach, such as “Don’t join gangs”, “Don’t get suckered into fast food”, and the lesson that this episode tried (and failed, hard) to teach, “Judge others by who they are, not what they are”. If that’s the case, then the writers at least could have tried to make Hip and Hop a bit more sympathetic behind their reasoning of wanting to go to school, rather than them just going “WOWIE, SCHOOL SURE DOES LOOK LIKE FUN, LET’S GO!!” In addition to this, we’ve also got ANOTHER musical number, this time on the levels of…well, ANY obnoxious teeny bop musician these days. A Little Learning: The people behind this need more than a little of it.
NO. 15: Translate This (Sonic Boom)
It goes without saying that Sonic the Hedgehog does not have what one would call a desirable track record with animation. AOSTH was an incomprehensible mess, SatAM was slightly better but was too slow-paced for its’ own good, Underground was entertaining in allthewrong ways, and Sonic X, while admittedly the most faithful out of all the shows, was an average-at-best anime turned mind-numbingly awful English dub courtesy of the company with a strange vendetta for riceballs. As you could guess by my pick for this spot, Sonic Boom is the show that I care the absolute least for, and once I’m done tearing this episode apart, you’ll understand exactly why. The plot revolves around Tails building a machine which he dubs as the “UT”, which can read the mind of anyone and translate their thoughts into concrete words, which leads to fighting amongst Sonic and the crew. The main problem with this episode is a problem that persists a lot throughout the series: For a Sonic cartoon, it can be surprisingly mean at times. For instance, after UT gets stolen by Eggman, the gang refuses to help Tails recover him due to the fact that all it did was made them fight (Which really could have been avoided in the first place had they not thought so lowly of each other). A disappointed Tails then proclaims that he’ll get UT back by himself, and sets off to Eggman’s lair. Not only does literally no one attempt to stop him (Not even Sonic), but later on it’s shown that they were just lying about doing nothing! In addition to this, we also get a bunch of scenes showing just how far Knuckles has fallen from being the gullible, but nonetheless no-nonsense guardian of the Master Emerald to a complete and utter simpleton, as well as CGI which is okay at best and at worst is sub-par and stiff. Add all of these things up, and you’ll know why I think Sonic Boom is the worst iteration of the blue blur to date. Translate This: A more accurate title would be “Who Would Wanna Watch This?”.
NO. 14: Is Zit You Or Is Zit Me? (Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures)
Jumping from one crappy “re-imagining” of a beloved video game icon to another, what we’ve got here is yet another case of a franchise struggling to stay afloat in the current market, and thus resorting to selling itself out (The absolute last thing ANY franchise should do). The plot revolves around Pac-Man (Speaking of which, why is he called Pac-Man in this show if he’s supposed to be a teenager? Shouldn’t he be called Pac-Boy or something?) getting a zit before Class Picture Day, which apparently grows bigger and bigger the more he lingers on the thought of it. Upon hearing this, the antagonist of the show, Betrayus (I’m not kidding, that’s actually his name), sends all of the ghosts from the Netherland or whatever the hell it’s called to say the most hurtful things that they can think of to make the zit grow bigger and bigger. Ultimately, Pac ends up bloating up to the size of a hot air balloon and ends up floating across the entire city of Pacopolis (Really? What was wrong with the Pac-Village?), and ends up becoming the laughingstock of the town. Oh, and he even says this:
Aside from that, how does the episode stand out on its’ own? Well, to put it lightly…imagine the infamous SpongeBob SquarePants episode “The Splinter”, except in CGI, even more poorly-written, a moral, and slightly less disgusting. Slightly. Is Zit You or Is Zit Me: Sorry Pac, but you’ve got way more important problems that being a meme.
In an age where literature and comic books have practically become the go-to sources for big-budget movie adaptations, the craving for a good video game blockbuster feature has gotten increasingly more severe (Though I’d honestly prefer games to just stay as games, which I’ll delve deeper into at the end of the last part), which kind of speaks for itself when you consider the fact that what is arguably the best one out of all of them has a gag revolving around one of the characters taking a piss into a lake. So, seeing as how it’s a medium that provides creators and artists with far less limitations than film, as well as one that seems more suited for games, most people prefer to just take the easy way out and just go for the small screen. I mean, what could go wrong?
….
(sigh), Well, I suppose you all might have figured it out judging by the title. Although not quite as riddled with them as much as the film industry, the world of television has still given birth to horrid game adaptations a plenty, especially animated ones. From Mario, to Sonic, and even the lesser-known characters like the Battletoads, many of these animated adaptations are often considered to be some of the worst to ever come out of the industry, and we’ll be listing off twenty episodes from each of them. So, get ready to wreck some remotes, as we take a look at the Top 20 Worst Video Game Cartoon Episodes. By the way, expect all five articles to be fairly lengthy.
RULES:
-Each episode must be from a different show, although different shows based on a particular game are accepted.
-The episode must have something a major, noteworthy flaw, and must be bad in an interesting or unique way.
– Don’t expect to see the Pokemon anime on here, because if I had to list off one episode, I’d have to list the entire show.
NO. 20: No Parking (Rayman: The Animated Series)
The Rayman franchise, with all of its’ bizarre, goofy characters and fantastical wacky worlds, is one that would fit in perfectly on the small screen. You got a protagonist of indecipherable species that has the ability to detach his limbs and use his hair like a helicopter, a dumb blue frog-like creature, robotic pirates, fairies, nymphs, and all sorts of the like! So, with that in mind, how does the VERY short-lived cartoon show (I’m not joking when I say that. This thing lasted for four episodes. FOUR EPISODES!!!!) fare? Not that great. While the animation is actually pretty good for the time, especially for a television production, it has as much in common with the games as much as Dragon Ball Evolution does with the anime that it originated from. That’s a problem that you can expect to pop up A LOT throughout this list, by the way. Aside from the titular character and Razorbeard (who only appeared in the first episode), none of the characters from the games make an appearance. Instead, we get characters such as Lac Mac, Betina, Cookie, and Flips, all of whom are painfully bland and one-note, Betina in particular. So, what about the plot? Ray and the gang have recently escaped the circus and are on the run from a police officer named Grub, and end up stopping at a park to rest. After Flips ends up getting trapped in a car which is sent to a scrapyard, the gang must rescue her but end up in grave danger themselves. Suddenly, Ray somehow gains the ability to detach his hands as well as using his helicopter hair, and…well, that’s about it. The main problem with this episode is that it doesn’t really have that much of a plot. Instead, stuff just happens. The humor is also pretty lackluster, mostly consisting of slapstick humor similar to the likes of Wile E. Coyote (except not funny), and jokes that force down each character’s one-note trait down our throats. Also, while I don’t like to repeat my points, almost none of the characters from the games make appearances. Maybe the new characters would’ve been tolerable if they were the central focus of just one episode, but not an entire freaking series! Really, the only saving grace here is Billy West’s performance as Rayman. You gotta admire the guy for making the best out of things. No Parking: Nobody should be forced to sit through this mess.
NO. 19: Fairies In The Spring (The Legend of Zelda)
Ah yes, the cartoon that is reviled by Zelda fans across the globe, and is also responsible for this genius and totally not-annoying phrase:
“Excuuuuse me, Princess!”
While all of the episodes of this show are bad, one sticks out in particular mostly due to the sheer stupidity of its’ plot. King Harkinian is building a water park for Hyrule, but its’ construction is threatened by the appearances of water monsters. Wanting to get to the bottom of this, he enlists his daughter, Zelda and her sidekick Link (Yeah, I’m calling him the sidekick. That’s pretty much what he is in this show) to investigate. In the end, it turns out that the water park was just placed too close to the Fairy Kingdom, and the park was just draining their water supply, so the King had his daughter create the water monsters to scare the builders off.
“THE LEGEND OF ZELDA! ACTION, ADVENTURE, AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO LEFT THE TOILET SEAT UP THE OTHER NIGHT!”
Besides that, the episode has the same flaws as all of the other episodes of this series: Link’s an obnoxious, wannabe womanizing jerk (Though I’d take that any day over his insultingly scatterbrained personality from the CD-i games), the animation is terrible, the writing is cheesy, and the action is just boring. Fairies In The Spring: I’d much rather apply springs to my shoes than watch this crap.
NO. 18: Kong For A Day (Donkey Kong Country)
The DKC TV show is one of the penultimate bad video game cartoons. It’s got almost everything: bad animation, annoying characters, lack of faithfulness to the source material, and a whole bunch of other problems. However, while it is pretty damn bad, I really wouldn’t have included any of the episodes if not for this particular one. The plot revolves around King K. Rool going around DK Island – oops, I mean “Kongo Bongo”, making all of DK’s friends mad at him for things that he didn’t do, ultimately resulting in DK being banished to the White Mountains and Diddy being proclaimed the new ruler of Kongo Bongo by the Crystal Coconut. Oh yeah, the Crystal Coconut! I totally remember that from the games! Except it never was in any of the games, and is just another reminder that the people who make these things can’t stick to what the game already has to offer in terms of story! Anyways, what’s the problem with this episode? Well, just look at the plot. ALL of DK’s friends get so irate with him without ever taking anything into consideration! For example, when Cranky wakes up to find his cabin destroyed, he sees a half-eaten banana and immediately deduces that DK was responsible. Err…Cranky, I kinda hate to tell you this, but…YOU LIVE ON AN ISLAND INHABITED BY PRIMATES WHERE BANANAS ARE THE MAIN SOURCE OF FOOD! It could’ve been anyone who left that banana! In addition to the plot, we’ve also got musical numbers. Yes, you heard me: musical numbers. Though to be fair, they can range from being pretty good to downright atrocious. Also, there are times when the CGI can get pretty damn creepy (there’s a scene with Dixie which you have to see for yourselves). In the end, DK ends up coming back, saves the day, and defeats K. Rool, but all of his friends sans Diddy are still mad at him (At least, that’s what I assume. The episode never has a scene with DK’s friends apologizing), leaving the episode off on a surprisingly unsatisfying note. Kong For A Day: Don’t spoil your day by watching this hunk of junk.
NO. 17: Curse Of The Lion Men (Mega Man)
Ah yes, even before the days of pizza explosions, cancelled games, and…whatever the hell THIS is, the blue bomber had his fair share of misfires, this in particular being one of them. The problem with this episode goes beyond the corny one-liners and mindless action sequences that’s to be expected from these types of shows, and really just goes to the fact that it’s just so…out there. Okay, I know that a game about a robot kid dressed in blue that goes around shooting at other robots and stealing their abilities isn’t exactly conceptually sophisticated itself, but hear me out: The plot revolves around Wily’s robots discovering a tribe of alien lion creatures, who then go around spreading an infection that turns humans into alien lion creatures in their plot to take over the world. After Wily sides with Tar, the leader of the lions, he ends up getting betrayed and turned into a lion himself along with Dr. Light, leaving it to Mega Man to find a way to put an end to the infection and defeat Tar and the lions. With all that out of the way, I’m sure you all know what I mean by this one being “out there”. In addition to that, the animation and voice acting are pretty shoddy, overall making up one of the most “WTF” cartoons of all time. Curse Of The Lion Men: It’d be a real curse to have to watch this for the rest of my life.
In the late 80’s to early-to-mid 90’s, the Japanese video game company Capcom had built a major reputation for itself as one of the leading and most respectable third-party developers for the NES and SNES, releasing several classic titles such as their line of games based off of Disney Afternoon shows, Street Fighter II, Bionic Commando, and of course, Mega Man!
Having made his grand debut in the self-titled 1987 NES game (which I actually covered six months back as of this writing) which was then followed up by several sequels, the blue bomber was shaping up to be a legit alternative to Mario. However, after a certain hedgehog took the world by storm, the blue bomber was in danger of falling behind, and Capcom had to do something about it. If it was going to take on the next generation of systems, the series needed a fresh, new approach in terms of both design and aesthetics. As a result of all this, Mega Man X was born.
Released in 1992 for the Super Nintendo, the game takes place long after the events of the original series of games and revolves around the titular X, the successor to the original Mega Man, who must traverse the world with the assistance of the aligned Maverick Hunters and the noble Zero in order to put a stop to the despicable Mavericks and their plot for human extinction. Can this game still hold up after all these years, or as it aged as gracefully as a rusted robot? Let’s find out, shall we?
THE LOOKS – One thing that immediately sets this game apart from previous Mega Man installments is its’ art style, and how. What was once a whimsical and colorful take on a future where machines and humans mostly lived in harmony has since then undergone what I’d like to call “Dragon Ball Z Syndrome”. What is “Dragon Ball Z Syndrome”, you may ask? Well, it’s when a series that starts off with a more family-friendly style suddenly takes a major U-turn in tone right out of nowhere and becomes much more darker. Dragon Ball Z (the anime that I named this symptom after), Jak 2, and this game are great examples of this. However, that’s not to say that this choice in style is bad, as this game is quite possibly one of the greatest-looking ones of the entire 16-bit era. Starting off with the backgrounds, they are simply amazing. As this was the franchise’s first venture beyond the comfortability of 8-bits, it was given that the visuals would up their ante, something that is proven by just how much attention to detail that is emphasized by them. Sting Chameleon’s and Chill Penguin’s stages are particularly gorgeous. As for the character sprites, the more advanced hardware has also benefited them, as they have a bit more detail and more refined proportions than in the NES games. Speaking of the character sprites, they too have undergone a more mature injection, as their designs are more reminiscent of “Dragon Ball Z” than of “Astro Boy”. Needless to say, this is the SNES’ graphical capabilities at one of their finest hours.
THE SOUND – If there’s one thing that I think is worth noting about these games, it would have to be the fact that the soundtracks get progressively better and better with each new installment. And if you ask me, it might just be one of the most “Mega Man-y” soundtracks of the entirety of the franchise! Composed by the five man-band of Yuko Takehara, Makoto Tomozawa, Yuki Iwai, Toshihiko Horiyama, and Setsuo Yamamoto, the music really helps to set the “hardcore” mood of the game and suits the feel of each and every stage. The soundtrack relies on a wide variety of instruments, though the guitar is one that you can expect to hear a lot throughout your playthrough. Each character also has their own respective theme tune, each of which are all represented by a different style of music; Zero’s guitar-heavy theme tune is only a mere example of this. Like the visuals, the soundtrack is one of the greatest to ever be featured on a SNES game.
Zero defending X from Vile.
THE GAMEPLAY – When it all boils down, the gameplay is pretty much the standard Mega Man formula: You choose a level in any order you want, go around running, jumping, and shooting at things until you get to the end, where you have to fight the boss of that stage and get their ability. However, because it’s now in a more advanced format, Capcom decided to up their ante and build upon it, and boy did they succeed. Starting off with the controls, they’re some of the most tight and snappy that I’ve seen in a run-and-gun platformer. Although there are times where they might feel a bit off per say, these moments are very, very sparse and don’t drag the game down. The level design is also great, as it’s built around several interesting setpieces, and you’ll also be engaging in more varied gameplay styles. Throughout the game, you’ll also get several VERY useful upgrades throughout the form of capsules that are scattered throughout the stages, which also helps to spice things up a bit. Ultimately, all of these things manage to come together to make up what is in my eyes one of the greatest platformers of its’ time.
THE BOTTOM LINE – Although I wouldn’t call myself a Mega Man fanatic, I still enjoy the games and what they have to offer. Mega Man X on the other hand, I don’t just enjoy it. I freaking LOVE IT. The level design is brilliant, the music is catchy as all hell, the gameplay is addictive, and it’s all-around a really really fun game. This is definitely a must-play for platform enthusiasts and Mega Man fans.
If there’s one medium that video games have had a lot of difficulty trying to make a successful transition into other than movies, it would easily have to be cartoons. Granted, while the only major difference between them is the fact that good video game cartoons do in fact exist, that doesn’t change the fact that they’ve also spawned a lot of stinkers as well. And when they’re bad… my GOD, are they bad. Therefore, I will soon begin production on an article shining the spotlight on the absolute worst that video game cartoons have to offer. As of now, I can’t exactly say when it’ll come out, but I will say that it’ll be done before the end of summer. If you have any suggestions on what I can put on the list, feel free to list them in the comments section below!
retr0pia 
